Package in the mail!!!!

[lunahalo.livejournal.com]

Last night when my friend and I left, I was just anticipating going home, spending time with my husband, and visiting with my friend. When I got home, I found there had been a notice stuck in my mail box telling me I'd had a package waiting for me at the post office, since no one was there to hand deliver it to.

To bring you up to speed on some things, I lost my son, Wolfgang, to S.I.D.S. 5 years ago, and my daughter, Brittanney, to anencephaly almost 3 years ago. For the longest time, I didn't really allow myself to open up enough to read any of the books they had about grieving for a child who's died. This summer, I made a sub-conscious decision to do just that. I was at the library one day and found quite by accident a book called _Children_of_The_Dome_ by Rosemary Smith. I read that book cover-to-cover. It only took a few hours, as I couldn't put it down. :-) One night, I had done some serious hard-core thinking and decided to track this woman down, via phone. I called information several times, trying to find this woman's phone #. I felt I had to talk to her. I finally got the # right (after calling a lot of people here and there and finally realizing, wait a minute, maybe it's under this name over here....), and left a message, as she was out of town. Her house-keeper said she (the author) had a web-site, too. She gave me the URL, and whenever I finally remembered to look it up, I signed her guestbook after I got the opportunity to see what she'd set up. I'd also contacted a woman that was in the book about a newsletter that was mentioned in the book, and we've struck up a correspondence over e-mail. :-)

I am so tickled about this! I just had to share!

Pregnancy and everything in between...

[lunahalo.livejournal.com]

Ok, so here's my question. I've been pregnant before, and I've given birth, but why the f*ck do I feel like I wanna puke every time I eat something? Someone please explain this to me in a non-condescending way please!!!

This morning, for example, I was eating a sandwich before I left to come down here and hang out.. I took the first bite and felt like I wanted to spit it out. I finished it off without much of a problem, but I don't know what to think. I know every pregnancy is different. I didn't have very much morning sickness with my daughters, and with my son it was every day for 4 1/2 months. Awful. I've had a cycle for August, but it was only for 3 days, when usually I go for at least 5. I know you're probably thinking, "ok, this chica is a real pendeja estupida, she's been pregnant, given birth, and still doesn't know how to tell symptoms of pregnancy!" But that's not the case. When I found out about my youngest, I didn't have a period for 2 months cuz I thought it was stress. I was in college at the time, and it was right around finals week. D'uh! lol Ok, so what's wrong with me?

My husband and I had sex recently, and yes, he ejaculated (I konw there's someone out there who's thinking, "Ok, I'll take 'Things I really didn't need to know for $500, Alex'" and for those of you who are, I'm truly sorry for disturbing you and damaging your psyche). I also know that a woman is most fertile the 1st 2 weeks before her period. I'm buggin. I don't want children right now, my husband and I are very close, and yes, we would like children someday, someday being the operative word here, but not right now.

I appreciate any and all non-condescending (don't talk to me like I'm 5. That's precisely what my mother would do.) comments.

Thank you..