Today I hate being a woman.

[lto.livejournal.com]

So I went in for my yearly pap today.



First off, I found I out I have fibroid cysts in my breasts. Fabulous. Either previous doctors have neglected to mention this or it popped up in the last year.

The exam was the usual amount of discomfort, as I always get a little woozy when my cervix is scraped, until the doctor went to feel my ovaries and uterus. She poked my cervix and it hurt. Not a lot, but definite discomfort that wasn't just pressure. She was rather surprised and pushed it a couple more times. More twinges. I've had no pain at other times, though the damn thing was just scraped plus the doctor said that she could see my cervix was the sort that's more sensitive than normal.

As she's explaining this, I'm started to feel light headed. She sees that I've gone grey and tells me to lay back down and starts explaining why some women have a bad reaction to a pap smear. I interrupt with "I'm gonna throw up." She helps me to the sink and leaves to get a basin for me. I'm left gagging into the sink, which still had the speculum in it. Yeah, that really fucking helped. Only dry heaves since I was fasting. The doc comes back, I feel my temp go up, I break into a sweat and start shaking. She sits me back down, checks my eyes and says, "You're still pretty shaky, you didn't drive yourself, did you?" Of course I did. Luckily, they don't need the room for an hour, so I could sit there. Eventually managed to get dressed, got my blood work done and got the hell out of there.

This has happened to some degree every single fucking time I get a pap smear. This is just the first time the doctor hadn't already buggered off when I got sick.

And another thing. I fucking hate my period. I hate not feeling clean for 5 days. I hate how it feels. It's disgusting. And I refuse to give up my pads for cloth ones or anything else reusable. I grew up listening to my grandmother talk about how they had to rinse out rags to use and how lucky I am that I don't have to do that. Damn it all, I never fucking plan to.

Comments

[amiga500.livejournal.com]

Why are you fasting? If at all possible, it might help to avoid that when you have to go in for a pap. And yes, they're uncomfortable, and they can seem really invasive, but they're necessary. I usually just lie there and try to stay calm while promising myself a new record or pastry for putting up with it. it might help to mention you concerns to your gyn, though -- before the exam starts.

And honestly, reusable menstrual products seem a lot nicer to me than disposable ones, if just because they're a lot more comfortable and easily accessible (did you know that when nothing else is around socks and safety pins work? I never would hav thought of that until I needed to.). My grandmother's mum actually used to wash her rags until she got married and moved away, and had no problem with it. The nasty part of having to clean rags is in having to launder them by hand (think how much worse having to do a whol load of laundry would be!). With a washing machine, it's really easy. And cups and sponges just need rinsing out in the sink. That's a lot easier than running out at 11PM because you forgot to buy tampons. Anyway, not trying to argue too much, just something to consider.

[lyrae.livejournal.com]

I got the impression that she would be fasting for the bloodwork.

[lto.livejournal.com]

Yup. One less trip and one less co-pay.

[amiga500.livejournal.com]

Ah, okay. Having gotten used to separate trips for EVERYTHING (pap, testing, pills . . .) because of the way my clinic works, I didn't think of that.

[crafting-change.livejournal.com]

ugh... I'm sorry. I am not fond of my yearly pap either (my dr. was insulted when I told her it was worse than getting a tattoo)...

And I refuse to give up my pads for cloth ones or anything else reusable. I grew up listening to my grandmother talk about how they had to rinse out rags to use and how lucky I am that I don't have to do that. Damn it all, I never fucking plan to.

That's cool... it is all about personal preference here.

[lto.livejournal.com]

You're right, it is worse than getting a tattoo!

As far as my tangent into reusable products, sometimes I feel like a troglodyte for not wanting to switch to reusable products. I was just thinking I can't be the only person who prefers disposable.

[crafting-change.livejournal.com]

Thank goodness you agree with me... I have a fair amount of tattoos...so I think she took it as an insult.

As far as the reusable products...we all do what we can handle. Right now I use disposable because all of the laundry is done at a laundromat...so I can't really have bloody stuff lying around for cats to investigate... and stuff like the keeper seem too messy...but then again I can't use tampons w/o it being tramatic.

[lto.livejournal.com]

I only have one, but it didn't really hurt at all.

Ditto with tampons. Never could use them comfortably.

[emmeangel.livejournal.com]

you're not.

really, cloth pads freak me out... but then again, i have more male than female friends, and then i have a dad to contend with... he sometimes does the laundry x.x;; plus, i wouldn't be able to run, swim, or whatever if i didn't have my tampons. also, absorbency is an issue... overnight would be horrible. plus, i get really sick when i'm on my period sometimes and tend to vomit at the sight of that blood, so the keeper, as would the cloth pads, are definitely be out of the question.

i love my disposable pads and tampons, and i'm holding onto them as long as i can.

[krasota.livejournal.com]

I always found tampons really uncomfortable when I was running (I ran distance in HS), so I preferred pads. Cloth pads were even better, as they didn't chafe.

For swimming, I wore tampons. I wore tampons during the day, except for practice and meets.