(last one) onset of menses ceremonies?

[ellettra.livejournal.com]

did anyone have an onset of menses ceremony? if so, what was it like, who threw it for you, what went on, etc? i want to plan something for my niece.

Comments

[achtungbaby.livejournal.com]

personally if i was your niece and had just started mensturating i'd be embarassed as hell for a ceremony of any sort to celebrate it. but thats just me.
i'd talk to her about it first and see how she feels about having any sort of ceremony/celebration. Also, i would hold off till shes had atleast 3 of them so she can feel comfy with herself having it, before she goes off and celebrates the onset of womanhood with other women in her life.
btw, how old is she?

[sweet-november.livejournal.com]

yeah, that would've embarrassed the shit out of me, you better ask her first.

[ellettra.livejournal.com]

hmm. good point.

[lizzie.livejournal.com]

If my mom did that for me, I'd be so embarrassed. If I were older, it might be okay, but being only 10 years old, it was something I wasn't comfortable with yet.

[blackchurch.livejournal.com]

I hope you don't mind me throwing this out there. It's just that I have been studying anthropology for so long that I feel the need to share. In America I've noticed we don't acknowledge women's cycles at all unless it is to sell a product. It would be really fantastic if we as a culture started to celebrate women's menses and the cycle of life. Ok, I'll shut up now.

[ellettra.livejournal.com]

i agree. =) which is why i'm thinking about doing it for my niece.

[blackchurch.livejournal.com]

I can see your point. My mom tried having a sort of celbration for me when it was clear that I had hit puberty. She masked it by saying it was my graduation from the 6th grade or something to that effect. In my humble opinion maybe you can do something like that? Maybe just don't make as big of a deal about the specifics, but celebrate that she is maturing in an overall sense.

What do you think?

[puttysan.livejournal.com]

it would be wonderful if our culture did, yes. But as it is now, girls tend to be rather secretive about it. And a young girl's change into womanhood isn't the time for one of *us* to try to make a change to society. I'm all for a celebration, but only if the girl of honor is ok with it.

[blackchurch.livejournal.com]

I agree absolutely. I know a young girl who had her period for the first time in class wearing white shorts and she refused to believe it was happening at all. Her mom was no help at all. There must be some subtle way of encorporating the ideas into our lives with subtly and still have relevence. What do you think?

[puttysan.livejournal.com]

You could always get her a little gift pack. A few posts ago, about what we do to symbolize our periods, someone said she wears a garnet necklace. One of those could be something she can wear, but not have to explain to anyone she doesn't want to. A pocket calender to chart her cycle, or a pair of really pretty period-undies. A nice lunch out with her so cool aunt. :) I think a big celebration would probably embarrass her, though. But you know her best; some girls are so thrilled to get it (especially is many of their friends already have), or are so into attention, a celebration would be enjoyable.

[ellettra.livejournal.com]

hmmm. i *am* her "so-cool aunt." =)
yeah, i guess i'll leave it to her somewhat. i like the idea of gifts, for sure. i want to negate all shame and embarrassment!!

[puttysan.livejournal.com]

I suspected as much. :)

Right, it's all about making it a happy event, but a big celebration may not be the way to go about that. But for a young girl, keeping it to close family she's comfortable with is probably easiest for her.

[blackchurch.livejournal.com]

Oh, I should explain, I'm a boy. Granted I'm a skinny long haired feminin boy who shaves his legs, paints his nails and tends to wear a lot of kilts, but I'm a boy nonetheless. So I tend to keep to myself when reading this LJ. But I get SO frustrated about our culture that I have to speek up.

So to answer your point, her mother would freak out if I acknowledged her daughters period. As much as I would love to help her out it would cause more trauma than help. I try in my own little ways, but not really in an honest forward manner like I would prefer. Kinda sucky.

[puttysan.livejournal.com]

Oh dear, I'm sorry for assuming you were female. I see what you mean though. Even in cultures where menses are celebrated though, isn't it still mostly female-oriented? That's not to say it's how it should be, of course. But I can see why a mother would be freaked out by it.

Maybe just take her out to lunch and celebrate what a wonderful niece she is?

[blackchurch.livejournal.com]

It's ok! No stress. I get it all the time, even in real life. *lol*

I really think we should celebrate it more. Recently I began to realize the depth at which women can commune and bond. Wheras men have little to bond over.

I'm going to do something, but I am going ot have to feel the situation out. Wish me luck!

[one-more-grrl.livejournal.com]

Like stated above, this could really embarrass a young girl a lot.

However, I like the concept. I think that every month I will throw a party in my uterus's honor, and make it a present-giving party as well. Every month. This could catch on...

[valancyjane.livejournal.com]

I would have loved it if my mom had done something for me. I don't know *what* I would have wanted, exactly, but some kind of recognition of a significant event would have been nice.

In general, I think young girls might have a hard time with an actual ceremony. At that point they are still kind of freaked out with the blood and stuff, and it's just a pain in the neck. Maybe just a day where the two of you do whatever she wants? That could be non-embarrassing and empowering as well as a bonding time.

[breighta.livejournal.com]

When I first started, my mom took the whole family out for dinner and made a toast to the "New woman". I still get the feeling of wanting to just die everytime I think about it.

[taraist.livejournal.com]

when i started, my aunt and my nana sent me encouragement cards in the mail. I was very upset about getting my period before my best friend and i was in 6th grade at the time. i still have them. i'm not embarresed by them at all, but when i tell my friends about it, most of them are horrified! lol!

i guess were more on the open side in my family. my dad even buys the pads and tampons because he does the grocery shopping. i couldn't believe it when one of my friends told me that she bought her own tampons because her mom didn't want her to use them! (i guess tampons didn't work for her mom or something)

whatever!

i think that a garnet necklace is a wonderful idea! i think that i am going to start wearing garnet during my period.. just for me. to feel special :-)