ways to drive away a date

[bayprincess2003.livejournal.com]

When you're on a date and can't stand the guy you're with and want to get as far away as you possibly can, what do you do? Most people grit their teeth and smile sweetly through the entire date, but here are some options that will have him running away from you, not the other way around.

* Compare your ex-boyfriend to him, always favouring your ex in the looks, personality, general goodness departments. Tell him you?re being objective.
* Cut up all your food into tiny little pieces and expect him to spoon feed it to you.
* Compliment him incessantly - on everything from his hair to his outfit, even his mum!
* Cry. Just cry.
* Order the most expensive thing on the menu. Twice.
* Ask for a doggie bag. Try and put his head in it.
* If you're at a restaurant, pull out the food you brought along, and spread it on the table like a picnic. Tell him he'd better eat it because you spent all afternoon making it.
* Be stunned into silence.
* Tell everyone around you he just proposed.
* Laugh hysterically at everything he says.
* Repeat every third third word you say say.
* Read a newspaper or book during the meal. Ignore your date.
* Sacrifice french fries to the great diety, Pomme.
* Lick your plate. Offer to lick theirs.
* Save the bones from your meal and explain that you're taking them home to your
invalid, senile old mother, because its a lot cheaper than actually feeding her.
* Feed imaginary friends.
* Arrange your food by colours and textures. Sculpt the head of your date on your plate.