OUCH!

[scarlett75.livejournal.com]

You'd think I'd know all the answers.... but I don't!! And, it sucks!! I have endometriosis, PCOS, and secondary infertility... and although I've commented on many of your questions/concerns here (and in menstrual hut)...I've never bitched myself!! BUT I AM SO TIRED of the pain. I am so tired of waiting for a positive pregnancy test every month, only to be let down. I'm so tired of the pain that accompanies sex with my husband!! I know all the biology, I think the emotions are worse!!! Just had sex with my husband (poor guy) and now I'm in so much pain that I have to hide from him!! This just sucks....

Comments

[namaste21.livejournal.com]

i'm not sure how to tastefully ask this question, but i'm not trying to be rude...
the pain that accompanies sex with my husband..
is there a specific medical reason for this (I don't know exactly what endometriosis or PCOS is), or could it be something else (sexual positions, psychological distress, etc.)?

Re:

[scarlett75.livejournal.com]

It's definately a medical reason/cause. Both, PCOS and Endo cause an increase of blood flow (and sometimes an increase in nerve endings) in the reproductive tissues...thereby causing more pain! No problem...ask as many questions as you like. I can say that it's NOT psychological....I love sex with my husband! :)

[namaste21.livejournal.com]

well, what I meant by psychological (didn't mean to offend, if I did), is that if I go into sex with a bad attitude, I generally don't have a good time -- and if I go into it tense and thinking it's going to be painful...then it usually is...
I currently have an increase in blood flow to that area (being pregnant), but it's made sex better for me...(I haven't ever had a sex drive this strong! *LOL*)...
hmm.. I don't know if gel lubricants might help?

Re:

[scarlett75.livejournal.com]

LOL--- I know what you mean about the psychological. On a couple of occasions I've had pain as a result of being "bitchy" about having sex in the first place. But I have pain even when I WANT sex!! Even when I POUNCE on him! :) I wish I were pregnant...congrats!! And, I lubricate JUST FINE... this is a deep tissue pain..not a dry pain! :) But, thanks for the ideas! And, I'm hardly ever offended!

[urania.livejournal.com]

not meaning to sound ignorant, but i *am* ignorant....what's PCOS? i know what endometriosis is (they thought i had it for awhile; thankfully i don't, apparently....tho they never figured out why i had such bad cramps) but not the other.

for what it's worth, you have much sympathy from me; though i can't understand wanting to be pregnant, i can understand how it would be difficult, very difficult, to be unable to be if you wanted. and i understand pain, though not perhaps on your level caused by sex. it really does not sound fun (understatement of the year).

Re:

[scarlett75.livejournal.com]

thanks for the support... I would never wish this on anyone! :) And, believe me ...your words are worth alot to me! :)

FYI- PCOS is Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome...it's a condition in which several fluid filled cysts develop on the ovaries.

[1980.livejournal.com]

I'm really sorry to hear about this. It's a shame that people like me have to worry about -not- getting pregnant, and thre are people who want to and have a hard time... My thoughts and hope go out to you, though, and I know some day you'll get what you've been hoping for. It can happen, just... believe- don't give up :)

Re:

[scarlett75.livejournal.com]

Thanks!!! I know...I just need to have faith!! :) Mind if I add you to my friends list?

*smiles*

[ex-ending606.livejournal.com]

Not at all. 1980 is my safe livejournal account, where I can go places and say things free of reprocussions from folk who keep an eye on me. This is my 'real' name, if you will. *wrinkled-eye smile* Shh... =]

Re: *smiles*

[scarlett75.livejournal.com]

gotcha...secrets safe with me!! :)

Just an idea

[(Anonymous)]

I know I dont know you but I can speak of some women I do know with this kind of pain. Often we manifest physical pain and illness out of our emotional pain. Ive seen this happen with women who have had abortions and later want children. Ive found that they often need to heal their guilt and forgive themselves or they develop all sorts of dis-ease in the pelvic area. Im not sayin "its all in your head" by any means. Im just saying that often emotions that we are not even aware of are connected to or causing our physical illness. It might be worth looking into. Ask yourself if you think you deserve a child or if you feel you deserve to enjoy sex. Your answers might surprise you. When we heal our emotions our physical bodies respond and heal as well.

Re: Just an idea

[scarlett75.livejournal.com]

Hmmm...let's see...
I've never had an abortion.
I've never been raped.
I love having sex with my husband, and have no hang-ups.
Do I deserve a child? Of course, I do!! I'm a great parent...and I would love to have more!
Do I deserve to enjoy sex??.... Doesn't everyone?? Everyone "deserves" to enjoy sex...wether they do or not is up to them and their past experiences.

Trust me, my "dis-eases" in the pelvic area aren't related to my emotions. I have true pathology which I doubt stems from "feeling blue". I am all for holistic ideas regarding healing, but I don't think you get ovarian cysts, wayward endometrial cells, and vericose veins on your uterus from being "guilty". I have nothing to be guilty about! :) Thanks for your idea!