I'm confused...

[shockmesane212.livejournal.com]

Friday I had an appointment with an ob/gyn because my periods are becoming painful again.  This is the same doctor that performed surgery on me for Endo two years ago. He asks me first if I've tried taking the pill, and I told him yes, but I spotted through the entire month, and he tells me that spotting for the month is better than being in excrutiating pain.  (I vomit or pass out from the pain)  Anyway, I felt as if he didn't believe me or think that it was 'bad' enough.  He told me that I couild have surgery again, but it wouldn't benefit me all that much. 

See, my main concern is children.  I would like to have one child of my own in a few years.  When I went to see him last time prior to the surgery, he told me that I would have diffiuclty getting pregnant, but after the surgery, he told me I could get pregnant whenever I desired.  So this problem is back, and I'm scared that I won't be able to have children.  I told him that I desire to be a mother, and he told me to wait until then to see what happens, but that I should expect to have difficulties.  He also told me having a child might correct it, but I don't want to have a child right now just because.  I'm almost 22yrs old, and I'll be moving in with my boyfriend in a few weeks, children aren't in the plans yet.   I just can't help but feel as though I've been dismissed.  He made me feel like a whiney two year old, who was wasting his time.

Has anyone here had worries about this, or had experiences of this sort?  I feel scared and alone, not to mention unsexy or unwomanly.  Most girls dream of their fairytale weddings growing up, I've always dreampt about having a little girl or boy.

Comments

[sulingsi.livejournal.com]

i'm just a medical student, not a doctor, so i don't know lots about endometriosis yet, but i would assume that your doctor wouldn't tell you that after the surgery you'd be able to have kids, if that wasn't the case. otherwise he is leaving himself open for you to sue him. that's one thing doctors are very careful about, because people are very likely to sue if they can't have children. also, my mom had endo and had surgery and then she was able to have not only me but my two brothers. i can only imagine that the technology has gotten better in the past 20 years. my non-expert feeling is that you'll probably be able to have kids, when you want them. maybe you should do some research on the net or in the library to reassure yourself - you could start at the endo community on LJ, i know one exists.

[sulingsi.livejournal.com]

ps. i feel like a lot of people here having reported that being on the pill, they spotted the first month but then after 2 or 3 cycles their body adjusted. wouldn't that be better than excruciating pain? maybe you should give it another shot?

[solsistr3.livejournal.com]

It sounds like you need a new obgyn!! Your concerns are totally valid, and you deserve to be treated with respect.

[crassy.livejournal.com]

I agree with solsistr3, you need a new obgyn. I may be out of line, but I have always felt that men just don't get it when it comes to issues concerning female health, especially reproductive health. You should go and get a second opinion about this, and even a third. You may find someone who you feel a little bit more comfortable with and who may actually give a damn. If you feel like you are a whinging two year old, it is probably not you, but the doctor making you feel that way by his actions.

[ourika.livejournal.com]

Would you be willing to try birth control again? Usually the first 1-3 months are "adjustment periods" and often the spotting side effects and stuff will go away either after a couple of months or after switching pills. That being said, it sounds like you've got other issues with your doctor, and getting a second opinion is always a good idea.

[lindsey-nichole.livejournal.com]

have you joined endometriosis? i've found alot of supportive women and good info there.

you need to find an endo specialist, if only to be taken seriously.

i know how bad it sucks (i'm 19, and was told more than once i may never have kids) but i'm here for you - endo has the power of instantly bonding those who have it i think.

i'm also part of another support group that i think is wonderful. Endo Faeries on MSN. (http://groups.msn.com/EndoFaeries/_homepage.msnw?&pps=k)

[shockmesane212.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I shall check them both out.

[skeptictank.livejournal.com]

I didn't think I'd ever say this, but it actually seems like you want to try another surgery BEFORE trying some other less invasive methods of fixing this problem. If you read around, spotting in the first few months of a new hormonal drug is totally normal, and "combination" birth control (the kind that contains progestin and estrogen) in some cases can actually lessen the effects of endometriosis and make them quite bearable without affecting your ability to have kids once the birth control is stopped.

It takes a few months to see if ANY medication works for a certain person (not just birth control) and it could take a year or more to come up with a routine that works for you and can help you avoid another surgery. I know your last one went well, but the more surgery you have, the more likely it is that you'll be rendered unable to bear children. If I were you I would fight to try every available remedy besides surgery, from birth control to homeopathic methods.

I think you're lucky to have a doctor who isn't so quick to suggest surgery every time things look bad. If you already have this condition, you don't really have too much to lose by taking 3 or 4 months to try birth control again (or even another 3 or 4 months to try a different method if the first one doesn't work) rather than just having surgery to "get it over with".

BUT it's not my body, and I'm starting to sound like I'm critisizing your decisions (which I'm not, I just would hate to see you rush into the operating room and come out unable to have children). On the flip side, if your doctor hasn't taken the time to sit down and discuss WHY he thinks medication is the right way to go, maybe he's wasting YOUR time. Even if you want to keep going to him, I would ask your questions here & in other LJ communities, research all you can on the internet & in medical journals, make an appointment to speak to another doctor or homeopath, and KEEP YOURSELF INFORMED. You will never be able to make a wise decision for yourself if you aren't aware of ALL of your options.

Good luck to you.

[shockmesane212.livejournal.com]

Thanks for all your responses...they've been helpful.
As a young woman and a pharmacy technician, I'm aware of the fact that birth control takes a few months to adjust to your body. After spotting the entire time (after trying Alesse, Tricycle, etc) I gave up. It's like having your period all the time.
As for surgery, I'd prefer not to have it again, because not only of the pain it brings, but the 'scar tissue' and risks of becoming barren. If left to be my only choice, I would.
The thing that bothered my the most was how I felt. I was in his office for I swear less than 5 mins. He did not take the time to explain anything to me. I was a touch hurt that myself as a female was sitting there clueless. I felt like I didn't know anything about my body anymore, and the fact that he didnt' take the time to express any options that I do have, made me feel like a complainer. I know that painful periods or endo are both very common diseases/illnesses. I know there are women out there who have it much worse than myself.
I just still feel kinda weird about it all. My mother told me that I should get a second opinion and that men docs (not all, but some) can't understand what it feels like to have painfuls periods because they've never really gone through it. My own family doctor a few years back said that exact thing.
I think I'm going to go to my family doctor and see if he can refer me to a female gyno and get a second opinion.

[sulingsi.livejournal.com]

i understand the feeling! that is what inspired me to go to medical school, and now i am hoping to become an ob/gyn. i've even heard a lot of stories on here about bad female gynos, which is surprising, but there are just a surprising number of bad doctors. you've gotta find yourself a good one to stick with, because a good doctor can be so helpful and make you feel good instead of bad when you come out of their office. right now, the majority of gynos are male, but the tide is turning - almost all residents (physicians in training) in ob/gyn now are women.

[skeptictank.livejournal.com]

I agree with your mother. They're not all rotten, but your odds are probably better with a female doctor, especially considering your condition. As I said before, I would also consider calling around in your area and looking for a homeopathic clinic. Lots of times they will be able to adjust your diet and give you herbs & vitamins that will relieve (if not cure) your situation. For me, the only thing more scary than having something wrong with your body that you don't know how to deal with, is the chemicals that docs are so quick to pump into you to TRY fixing it.

On a personal note, I know what you mean. I have a female doctor so she can relate a little better, even to things she's never personally experienced. Last time I saw her she was pregnant! But she was also rushed (way too many patients) and didn't really sit and talk with me about my options. She just asked me what kind of b/c I wanted a sample of and had her assistant give it to me.

I also went to Planned Parenthood saturday to have my perscription filled (with that whole Hope Program thing) and they were VERY rude and unhelpful. I left in tears and proceeded to my boyfriends house were I cried for like an hour. I wasn't in any desperate situation (besides money) but I was upset because they were SO mean, they did nothing to help me, told me "good luck scraping up the money before you need your perscription filled on Tuesday" as I exited their building, and then asked me if I'd like to make a donation.

I was having an issue a few months ago with my OB/gyn not being able to see me when I had appointments with her, and I've been looking for a new one ever since. I know totally know how it feels to go to someone that is SUPPOSED to help you, and then be brushed off like a piece of lint. It sucks, but you don't need to put up with it.

[myemptythoughts.livejournal.com]

the problem (and this might sound stupid and feminist): HE'S A HE. Having a male fix this kind of problem is like having someone who's never driven teach you how to drive.

just my take.


<3 I hope you get better hunny! I had really bad pains too (and they come back here and there) good luck with your boyfirend too :-D