(no subject)

[dreamsighted.livejournal.com]

Hey all,
I'm kind of desperate for some input, so if you could all bear with me and possibly post your experience/opinion, I'd really appreciate it.

I started my period when I was fourteen years old. Now I am two periods away from eighteen, and they've always been pretty dependable and tolerable. However, in the past seven months or so, I've been experiencing the most terrible pain I've ever felt, especially in the first four days of my period. The first two days are nearly unbearable, the first day, I can't even move and I often throw up. My periods are also heavier than they've ever been before, and I've been experiencing pain when I use a tampon...I think my vagina is dysfunctional or something. (joke...mostly)

Anyways, a little over a month ago, I had an intake appointment at the office that's going to be handling my counseling for right now, and the woman doing the intake asked about my period, if it's regular, if I have a heavy flow/cramps, that sort of thing. When I told her how my period's been lately, she looked concerned, mentioned that she thought it might be endometriosis, and said I should probably talk to my doctor about it. A little while later, I got my period again, and it was worse than ever before. I threw up in the shower twice, and once after getting out of the shower. My eleven-year-old brother was the only one home at the time, and he was a lifesaver. He got some Aleve for me and I took about three of them, but it didn't do much of anything -- it took away the tearing pain, but I still felt this dull, throbbing pain from my bellybutton to my thighs.

That was my last period. Today, I finally got in to see the doctor and she also said she thought it was probably endo. I've got an ultrasound scheduled for Thursday, but I should have my period by that time. She told me that there wasn't much we could do this time around except take four Aleve a day from now until I finish my period, and hope for the best. However, she did give me some birth control pills to start on Sunday.

Here comes my problem. My mother, who is extremely conservative, does not want me taking birth control. I didn't want to chance her running across the pills in my room and freaking out thinking I'm sleeping around, so I told her straight-out, "I've got these birth control pills and I want to take them to control my period, the Dr. gave them to me, blah blah." She took the pills away and said that she didn't want me taking birth control because 1) she doesn't want my ovaries to shut down, 2) she doesn't want me to stay on birth control and fall for some guy and have protection if I wanted to have sex, 3) she doesn't want me to stay on birth control until I'm married and have to deal with the moral dilemma of automatically aborting all the babies I'd be making, and 4) I already have some emotional problems I'm dealing with and she doesn't want the pill to screw me up more.

I sort of see where she's coming from, I mean, I'd feel the same way if I had a daughter, I'm sure, but right now it's hard for me to look at the situation objectively. I'm looking at getting yet another painful period in the next couple of days, and it's something that I'm terribly scared of (I realize that taking the pill won't help on this cycle. I just need to start on Sunday if I want it to help with the next one). However, I love and respect my mother, and I'm not going to go behind her back and take the pill, it's just not an option for me. If I can convince her, that's cool, but if she absolutely will not agree, there's not much I can do -- she took the pills and is holding onto them.

Mom's idea instead of going on the pill is to start a magnesium regiment -- taking magnesium every single day, period or no. She's heard good things about it helping with the pain. I'm not so sure...I mean, even if it helps with the pain, I'd rather just address what's causing the pain, instead of simply dulling the pain.

So that's my story. My inquiries are these:
Have any of you tried magnesium for pain? If so, did it work? How well?
I'm sure some of you are on the pill, could you tell me a little about how it affected you physically and emotionally?
Do you have any advice for coping with pain/nausea over this cycle?

Any other words of advice/encouragement would be greatly appreciated. Pleasepleaseplease comment and say something. Thank you so very much!

X-posted to endometriosis

Comments

[achtungbaby.livejournal.com]

i'm on the pill and i've been on it since i was 16. i gained weight (roughly 15lbs) but aside that, i've had nothing but success with it. My periods are on schedule. you could set a clock by them. (they start on the 3rd thrusday of the month at roughly 1p)My skin is pretty clear because of the pill too.

and i'm really super proud that you told your mom flat out that you were on the pill. but i really think that if you want to take it, you should take it.

Perhaps you should do some research on your particular pill that was prescribed to you. maybe you can enlighten your mom a bit. maybe she will change her mind. and hell, even if it doesnt change her mind, atleast it will show her that you are really responsible about the decisions you make in your life.

but thats so seriously my opinion. i wish you good luck on any method you use to help get your period to a comfy flow/schedule.

[dreamsighted.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I'll try looking for the information on the pills she gave me. At the second, I'm still a minor, and like I said, I've got two periods to go before I can just decide by myself.
Thanks so much for your input, every little bit helps.

[achtungbaby.livejournal.com]

actually you dont have two periods till you can decide just by yourself. in most states by the age of 16 a minor can go to a doctor and have it be confidential. and if the doctor gave you the medicine its perfectly legal for you to take it on your own decision.
please oh please check out www.plannedparenthood.com it totally rocks. and they arent just about giving you birth control. they are all about womens health (and mens too actually) in general. and you can go there for either a very low cost, or no cost to you at all.

and i think its totally cool that you respect your mothers views, but sometimes girl, you just gotta rock the boat!

[rivetkitten.livejournal.com]

2) she doesn't want me to stay on birth control and fall for some guy and have protection if I wanted to have sex

No offense, but that's quite possibly the worst excuse I have EVER heard to keep someone from going on birth control pills. You're almost 18. You're almost a legal adult. If you want to have sex with "some guy," you could easily buy condoms and some spermicide. Does she not realize what extreme pain you're in? Does she not realize that your physician obviously thought that taking birth control was one of the best (relatively) immediate options for you?

I'm sorry if I sound bitchy, but my mom's a nurse, and I've grown up knowing what can happen when doctors' advice isn't taken.

If nothing else works, get your doctor to talk to your mom. A medical professional would probably be more equipped to convince her than you (or we) could be, and your doctor would be able to tell her whether or not taking magnesium would really help at all.

[ruggrat.livejournal.com]

umm, yea. would she rather the OP "fell for some guy" and had no protection and had sex anyway?
I know that's not the point/reason for getting on the pill, but honestly,

>>that's quite possibly the worst excuse I have EVER heard to keep someone >>from going on birth control pills.

I agree

[dreamsighted.livejournal.com]

Thanks for your input. It's all right, I'm looking for strong opinions here. As a minor, at this point all I can do is simply wait and see if my doctor and I can convince my mom to let me take the pill (she actually took the pill pack and is keeping it somewhere).
Am looking magnesium supplements online right at this moment.

[rivetkitten.livejournal.com]

even as a minor you have rights; if there's any way for you to get to your doctor's office on your own and pick up some more pills (if you should be so inclined) you'd still have doctor/patient priviledge. your mom would not be told, even if she asked, unless you expressly give permission.

[dreamsighted.livejournal.com]

right. I said this in another comment, but it's not possible for me to go behind my mom's back right now. I don't have time for a job at the moment, and our insurance does not cover birth control. I'd totally go for it if I could, but it's just not an option at this point.

[rivetkitten.livejournal.com]

I get my bc without my parents knowing. (Have for 2 years in October.) I haven't been paying for them, and I haven't used insurance. There is a government program that pays for birth control for women with low/no income. I understand if you don't feel like you'd be able to go through with that, but know that the option IS available if you're willing to look for it.

[sulingsi.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, but I don't think your mom's reasoning is solid here. This is your health here, would she rather see you suffer in horrible pain every month or let you actually use your own judgment about your health and sexuality? Tell her she needs to trust you, and if she can't trust you, then next time you ought to make her clean up all the vomit from you throwing up, because it will be her fault. The only treatment for endo is taking the pill. Go to your doctor and get the Nuvaring or the patch, which will be easier to hide from your mom. (I highly recommend Nuvaring! - it's a vaginal ring that gives you the hormones, only changed once a month)

If your mom was in horrible pain, would she let you sit there and say "It's nothing mom, just take a vitamin, you'll be ok"?

[lindsey-nichole.livejournal.com]

actually, it isn't the only treatment but :)

and i agree about her mom.

[sulingsi.livejournal.com]

sorry.. i had heard that other than hysterectomy it was the only treatment... am curious to know about others!

[lindsey-nichole.livejournal.com]

well if we're talking only medical treatments then, it's either BC, surgery (laparoscopic, or laparatomy), hysterectomy, or drugs like the one I'm on, called Lupron.

There are tons of homeopathic things women are doing to find relief. Dietary changes etc.

Either way it's not a big deal. I wouldn't know if I didn't have endo myself. :)

[dreamsighted.livejournal.com]

True enough, but like I said, I can see where she's coming from on most if not all of these points. Maybe it's just that I've grown up with her point of view so I understand her better, I don't know. Now, that doesn't necessarily mean I'm in complete agreement with her, or this wouldn't be an issue.

It's not really a matter of "hiding" from my mom. I don't have the option of hiding this at the moment. I'm a full-time high school student, living in a very large family. She's used to my having painful periods and if I suddenly stopped, she'd know why. Plus, birth control is not covered by my insurance. It may be in a couple months when I switch as an adult, but for now, I have to foot the bill. With the pill, it's $30 per month regularly, but my doctor is looking into getting a reduced price for me. I have zero income, no time for a job, so I would need to rely on my parents to pay for whatever medication I am taking. Most of it is covered by our insurance, but birth control happens to not be covered.

So thank you for your advice, but it's not feasible at the second.

[felicity-k.livejournal.com]

Your mom is definitely wrong here. I've been taking the pill since I was sixteen for my exTrEMEly painful periods, and I don't think it affected my view of sex at all. Maybe there's something you could do to assure her that you won't be having sex? She is right in that magnesium does help; so does taking fish oil and other omega-3 acids, taking Vitamin B, and for me personally I stopped eating meat and that helped. HOWever, the Pill the is the only thing that will make a dramatic difference. You should tell your mom that, if left untreated, endometriosis is a HUGE cause of future infertility. Taking the Pill is the only non-surgical option that is usually presented, and it helps both with pain and with preventing the progression of the scar tissue that can cause infertility. In addition, taking the Pill helps to know when your period's coming, which I find helps, because I plan not to do anything on my really painful days (I take my pills so the first days are Saturday & Sunday). Also, consider having your doctor talk to your mom, to further convince her that it isn't an excuse. And, if nothing works, go ahead and do it yourself. It's your body. She's not the one in pain here, you are, and you are the only one with the right to decide how to treat it.
Hope it all works out!

[dreamsighted.livejournal.com]

Thanks for your help. How dramatically did taking magnesium help, and exactly what did it help with? Cramping? nausea? possibly lightening flow (i wish!)

You say that taking the pill is the only non-surgical option that is USUALLY presented, are there any others that aren't usually used?

Thanks again for your help.

[lindsey-nichole.livejournal.com]

The "watch and wait" method of treatment is common, however now that docs are getting insentives to perscribe lupron and other drugs like it, they are becoming more commonly used. I'd even dare to say that once you have a formal diagnosis - they would probably start you on lupron and then follow up with BC pills.

[ex-snowcanwa171.livejournal.com]

Tell your mom that I was diagnosed with Stage IV endometriosis at 19, after suffering symptoms exactly as you describe. My doctor said to thank my lucky stars I had started the Pill 2 months before I was diagnosed (via ultrasound and surgery) because taking the Pill was probably the only thing that stopped the 3 cysts in my ovaries from rupturing, which could have destroyed my chance to have children.

I'm sorry, but I would go back to your doc and start the Pill despite what your mom says. Your situation probably isn't as drastic as mine, but I found that taking it helped my pain a LOT and I was also less anaemic and tired when I was on it. I didnt suffer any side effects either.

Do talk to your doc about your emotional problems though - things such as bipolar disorder can be sensitive to hormonal changes, so be careful. But please please remember that it's your body and it's ultimately your choice as to how you deal with this. If I'd started the pill 6 months earlier than I did I may not have needed surgery. Take care. xxxx

[dreamsighted.livejournal.com]

Thanks for your advice. As stated, at this moment, going behind my mother's back isn't exactly an option at this point. But I'm definitely looking ahead and into things and if this diagnosis is what we think it is, I'm pushing for the pill.

[char.livejournal.com]

i agree with everyone here that you need to take the pill. my sister has had 3 surgeries for endometriosis and it was the endo that nearly shut down her ovaries. it was very hard for her to get pregnant when she and her husband decided to try. and the pregnancy was high risk.
have you doctor talk to your mom. that's the best bet. you need to get your mom and doctor in the same room. and you have to be there too. if the doctor is telling her you need the bc, it has more weight. and you will need to constantly reassure her that you are still her good little girl.
take a good look at what pill you're on. birth control doesn't really "shutdown" your ovaries. you can still have babies. endo on the other hand can cause infertility.
bc only protects against pregnancy, not stds. let her know that you know this and you would not do anything without protection, if at all.
is she catholic? the "aborting" of all those little babies you'd be making sounds like a very catholic argument. (not all catholics mind you, but quite a few) that's something your doctor can talk to her about. or both of you can research the type of pill you're using to see how it works. heck, you might not even have to be on the pill by the time you get married. you're still young!

again, i think the best way to reassure your mom is to have your doc talk to her. she needs to know that even though birth control is "evil", it can actually save your ovaries from the endo.
best of luck with that. i watched my sister go through it, and i'm still paranoid whenever i get any cramps.

[dreamsighted.livejournal.com]

I'm going to try to have a doctor/mommy talk at some point soon.

My mom isn't catholic, but she's a very conservative Christian. What gets my goat is that she took the pill at one point -- and not for her period, she actually took it as birth control.

[skeptictank.livejournal.com]

You probably know this already, but your mom is a little nutty. Go to planned parenthood, or your doctor and have them give you some info on your condition and why that would be the best route for you to take.

She should really be more open minded. And oh my goodness, she really thinks that if you're not on b/c you won't ever fall in love & have sex? My mom, as carzy as she can be, would rather be realistic and see that I'm protected since she can't control me.

[dreamsighted.livejournal.com]

yah, the problem at the moment is that my doctor says that birth control would be the best course to take. I can't do that at the moment, because it's not covered by insurance and I don't have time to hold a job right now.

[sulingsi.livejournal.com]

just one more thing - the BC is also available at planned parenthood for a much reduced price. i used to get it for $10 a month. that seems pretty doable, i mean if you eat out once a month, there's your $10... i'm not sure how much the price might have risen but i think you can get it less than $30. maybe you should look into this for when hopefully in 2 months time you can get on the pill. your mom might be mortified at the idea of planned parenthood but they are a great resource for those who do not have lots of money!

[skeptictank.livejournal.com]

if they give you the perscription you can take it to planned parenthood and tell them that you're interested in filling your scrip with the Hope fund. They'll make you fill out a form and ask you some questions and let you get your drugs for way cheap.

[starlytehu.livejournal.com]

How long until you turn 18- 2 months right? My doc gave me samples for 2 years when I was in college and it was free. it was awesome. I'm sure your doc or a gynecologist may have samples he can give you. The "minor" issue may be something in your state.. you'll need to see. But it should work until you have the ability to take control.

BC does not encourage sex, shut down your ovaries or wreck your system (although I have my doubts about the shot) I know plenty of upstanding Christian girls that are on "hormone therapy." With moods- everyone acts differently and the only way you'll know is if you try it and see (3 months)

Look into diet and supplement changes. I've heard that whole grains and mineral supplements do wonders for PCOS and Endo. www.wildoats.com may be a decent starting place for research. Wish you the best

[hallucinas.livejournal.com]

also, you shouldn't have to wait for an ultrasound. get thee to an emergency room, as soon as you can. It isn't something you should wait a week or two one. just GO, this could be serious, and your mom will be much happier with a live, healthy daughter than a seriously ill one who will never be able to have children.

[jewelweed.livejournal.com]

Speaking as someone who comes from a mega-catholic family, I am familiar with the anti-birth control propaganda. I feel very strongly that applying these arguments to someone with your illness is misguided, dangerous, merciless, cruel... hmmm, what other words can I think up? I am deeply insulted that your mother would rather see you suffer agonizing pain and possibly permanent damage than take the medication which can help you, all on religious grounds. Good grief, people need to get their priorities straight.

The fact is, you are in PAIN. Severe, debilitating pain-- which using BC pills will very likely alleviate with no further problems. Before you even think about more invasive methods of dealing with this, you need to at least try the pills. That's what makes sense. Pills will NOT "shut down your ovaries". They merely simulate what your body does when it is pregnant, which is all perfectly natural. The pills will also very likely protect your fertility by reducing the chance of excessive scarring in your tubes. So if you want to have kids someday, this is therapy that will probably help you.

2) she doesn't want me to stay on birth control and fall for some guy and have protection if I wanted to have sex

Sorry, but this is a very insulting argument. Doesn't your mother trust you? Does she really think you are so weak that you will not do what you feel is right? She needs to give you more credit that that!