My body hates me.

[wickedconcubine.livejournal.com]

So, in the last three months, my boyfriend and I have had sex twice that I can even remember... It may have been longer than that.

We only get to spend weekends together because of conflicting schedules, so generally we try to make the best of it.

First there was the 5-6 weeks where he was suffering from a sinus cold complete with constant sinus headache... and the rare times his head wasn't aching, I was having a migraine...
Then I had both bronchitis and the flu and was "please kill me now" sick for about a week, with the requisite cough and hacking up of icky things for the next couple of weeks
Then he caught the Flu I'd finally gotten rid of...
Then I was having migraines again...
Then he had food poisoning...
Then insomnia hit him and on the nights I wasn't there he was only sleeping 3-4 hours.. and catching up on lost sleep because he sleeps better when I'm there...
so he was always too tired and fell asleep almost immediately on going to bed
Then finally... I guess its closer to 4 months if not a bit more...
I, of course, being the one with way more of a sex drive (isn't that backwards, isn't it the girl who's supposed to be interested only about a quarter of the time he is? *pout*) start to wonder what's wrong...
So I get depressed and start thinking that he isn't attracted anymore...
and start trying to decide whether loving him as much as I do is enough to make up for the lack of sex...
Finally FINALLY!!! Saturday night we go to bed and he falls asleep immediately, and I lay there for a while, and I guess I start crying because I just can't stop thinking about it all... wondering if its an excuse "Not tonight I don't feel well, I have a headache" etc... so I start crying... and he wakes up... and I explain what's wrong... and he apologizes and promises it really is that we've been sick or similar things... that he's still attracted and thinks I'm sexy and all...
And he promises that Sunday he won't be headachy or too tired... and he doesnt' make promises lightly...
So we cuddle up and fall asleep again...

And Sunday when I wake up my period has started... not only that, its extremely heavy
My body hates me... and the feeling is mutual
*mutter* Frustrating as hell

And even if it does decide to stop by this weekend... I have to work all weekend so we won't be spending much time together, I may not even stay at his place

... All of which reminds me of another topic... Of those who are on the pill... what have you found works the best for regulating the cycle?

Comments

[snapdragon-666.livejournal.com]

I always end up crying for that reason too. My boyfriend works long hours and i only see him on weekends. But this week is his holiday and he's still not interested. Oh, apart from when i was on my period. I worry about it so much, i have such a high sex drive and not only that but i like to feel i'm wanted.

Sorry, i know this is a bit off topic.

I'm on Yasmin, i take it to shrink ovarian cysts. My cycle used to be all over the place. 75 days, 45 days, 16 days, 54 days. That's how all over the place it was! On my second month of Yasmin, my cycle was 29 days. The next month it was also 29 days. So i was absolutely amazed!

[wickedconcubine.livejournal.com]

I always thought it was supposed to be men who had the huge sex drive, wanting it every minute... but out of all my female friends... I think only one of them is with someone who wants it as much/often as she does.

What is the world coming to? *boggle*

The cycle stuff, that sounds like me... only the times it does come, it lasts anywhere from two days to several weeks/months... then its some odd length of time in between again...

something to make it at least a reasonably reliable thing would be kinda nice..... fluctuating between being on my period for three weeks solid... and not having one for so long I panic and take several pregnancy tests...

Not happy.

[snapdragon-666.livejournal.com]

I know, that's what i always think! Maybe it's just a myth that men have such high sex drives. Maybe the pressure of living up to that label means they don't want to have sex? I don't know, something to think about!

Wow, that must be really anoying, not even knowing how long your period will last. Have you seen your doctor? I always thought i'd just always be irregular, but as i say, i had reasons for being that way. Maybe there's an underlying problem.

[wickedconcubine.livejournal.com]

I need to... STill working on having both time and money at the same time. It may have to wait for tax returns.. its a problem I've always had so I'm not too stressed about it.. its annoying but... You know? if it was something that just started, I would be worried, but its been that way since I started when I was 16.

[skeptictank.livejournal.com]

Yeah over the past 4 months or so I've been on the patch (getting used to it) and I naturally have a lot of head/stomach problems so I've been too sick or too bloody or too nauseated or whatever for sex a lot. My bf of a year dumped me because we hardly ever had sex during those past few months.

But you know, for the 9 days we were separated we talked a lot about it, and I told him that it's not that I don't WANT to it's more that I don't want it to suck because I feel shitty and unattractive. I think he finally understood and apologized profusely for dumping me. He's real sweet about it now. I think I'm doing my best to teach him the difference between "making love" (which doesn't always involve stickin' it in) and actually doing it, so when I was sick with a sinus infection last week he cuddled me and we kissed when I wasn't sneezing everywhere and he rubbed my back and kissed my shoulders.

It's so nice to have a lover that understands what you need when you can't give him what he wants. You're a lucky one!

[wickedconcubine.livejournal.com]

He's a doll, my boy... I adore him, he spoils me... When I was sick he made me stay at his place even though anyone being sick around him is guarenteed ot make him sick... so that he could take care of me (mostly by waking me up every so often to give me a bottle of water and some drugs)

Him being so near perfect in every other way (as a bf, not as a person.. he isn't without his necessary flaws... I wouldn't like him any other way!) made it so hard to think he didn't want me anymore.

Turns out, it was just that he has such a low sex drive, he hadn't realized it'd been so long.

[aechei.livejournal.com]

im sorry honey. that sucks. vibrator? just to take the edge off?

im on the patch, which i have found cant be used to regulate my period-- too low dose. moderate to higher dose pills are more likely to cut off or prevent your period than low dose ones.

[wickedconcubine.livejournal.com]

I bought one in hopes it would do that... and because my female friends all keep telling me that I needed one... not for use necessarily, but because every girl needs one apparently.

While the sensation is nice and all, I only used it a couple of times... I just didn't like it.. I like sex cause it's a give and take, sharing kind of thing... and its more about that for me than getting off...

the vibrator, it was boring cause it lacked all the emotion and whatnot of a real person.

[snapdragon-666.livejournal.com]

Oh, i agree with you about the vibrator. I'm the only one of my friends not to have one. I just can't see the point. If i want some self-loving, i can do without one! Being with the peson you love is something that just isn't anywhere near as good as getting an orgasm from battery powered plastic.

Sex isn't about the physical pleasure, while it can be mind blowing, it's more the feeling that your partner wants to be with you in such an intimate way. And that's a really important thing in a relationship.

[wickedconcubine.livejournal.com]

Agreed.

[disclaimher.livejournal.com]

whoa, I have been in your same position now for a year, and it isn't getting better. my boyfriend and I have sex about every 45 days or so, and we LIVE together. ::angry::

Hang in there. My boyfriend and I have had several "talks" like you two had, but unfortunately, it hasn't done any good.

[wickedconcubine.livejournal.com]

I'd die before then...

I seriously had gotten to the point where I wondering if I was willing to be in a relationship that was perfect in every way except sex... whether it matters that much to me

unfortunately, it does... I can't be in a relationship with someone I do'nt want... and being in a relationship wiht someone who doesn't want me is the worst thing I could think of... Isn't part of hte good of being in a relationship not having to worry about/deal with rejection?

I guess the reason I started crying was I'd decided that if it was going to be that way, everything but sex... I was going to have to end it... and this is the man I've been in love with for hte better part of a decade.

I feel completely shallow for even considering it... but sex isn't about sex to me, I do'nt care if I get off or not (I rarely do anyway) its all about the love and affection and the sharing part of it.

meh.

[disclaimher.livejournal.com]

I couldn't agree more.

[sterlingspider.livejournal.com]

I'm another one in the same boat lately.
Between a recent move and a new job for him and all sorts of life wackiness he crashes out just as I'm getting into the idea of some nookie. I have a really high drive and usually he's right up there with me, now most of the sex I have been able to get him into is because I managed to wake him up for it.
There has been more then one crying fit over this, full on with the self doubt and the wondering if he wants me anymore, and a couple of times with the "talk".
At this point I'm just waiting in the stress to abate a bit for him. But yah, it's pretty hard to curl up against him every night and just let him sleep like I know he needs.

[wickedconcubine.livejournal.com]

*muttermutter*

That's it... if there's a next time, guy wise, I'm picking someone who's whatever you'd call a male nympho. Maybe then he could keep up with me.

My current, much as I adore him... even under normal circumstances he has much less of a drive than I do... I mean.. .I'd be ecstatic for most nights of a week, at least 3 or 4... he's content with once, maybe twice...

so this whole thing, not that big a deal for him.

although he has been much more affectionate with the kisses and cuddles since we talked, so that's worth something I guess.

[spitefulelf.livejournal.com]

You know, i used to have a boyfriend like that, I always wanted him far more than he wanted me and it made me horny 24/7! Now i'm with an amazing guy who wants me all the time.....and you know what, i'm not half as horny! Ah, doesn't life just have such a great sense of humour?!

[wickedconcubine.livejournal.com]

Irony is not your friend.
*snickers*