help my brain

[daisybones.livejournal.com]

hi ladies. i am in serious need of some good old confessional action to relieve my brain, and this is the best place for me to vent. it would really help if anyone can relate at all.

i am having insane baby-wanting. insane. my husband & me had (woohoo!) unprotected sex on the day before i should've ovulated. according to mymonthlycycles.com this was a pretty fertile day. we aren't trying but are obviously not trying to prevent it too hard either. i thought it was earlier in my cycle & we said, what the hell? then i had a teensy cramp & my vagina did her very-slick-feeling-ovulation-time thing. & i thought oops & checked & found out i had been theoretically fertile that day. so i told him & he said i could do the morning after pill if i wanted, & i burst into tears & told him if we are pregnant i really really want to be. (he knows that's been my mindset for a while.) of course he was very supportive & sweet & jokingly asked me 2 days after the sex if i felt kicking. he's being very comfortable & light about it.

so here's my problem- i cannot STOP thinking about this & i'm going to be absolutely crushed if/when my period comes. i know i can get a blood test late next week- i can't afford it, [which is why i sshould be praying to be not pregnant!] but i have friends at a clinic who could maybe swing it... but i am seriously obsessing over this.  

i know all the signs to watch for, & how soon my hcg would be picked up, etc. what i need to know is have any of you ever been this badly baby-feverish? i'm 29, my mom passed away a few years ago & a few of my friends have had or are having babies, so there are lots of reasons for me thinking about a baby, but i am not used to being this obsessive about it. tell me i'm, not crazy? that this is biologically appropriate? or something?

Comments

[kowaiyukidono.livejournal.com]

No, that's a perfectly normal desire. Different people have it at different times. Occasionally, I get that way close to ovulation, even though my husband and I both know we're not ready (emotionally). Different people experience it at different times, in different ways. One of my friends in high school was obsessed over it, and said she wanted to have a kid shortly after her senior year. (She never did, though.)

So, no. You're not crazy.

[eluted.livejournal.com]

It can't be crazy to desire to have a baby. It's one of those things that humans (and all other species) have always depended on for survival. If there's anything that's normal in the world, it's wanting to have children.

[daisybones.livejournal.com]

ok, starting to feel better.
i just am overwhelmed by this thought being in my mind constantly. i'm convincing myself i am, but i know that it's not that likely to conceive that easily. i don't think. ergh. it'd make sense if i was late, but my period's not even due for a week & a half.

i'll just keep reminding myself that the deed is done or not already & my worrying either way isn't going to change it. & either outcome is good. baby good, no money worries good. ok. i'm off to work.

thanks for the support:)

[patientgirl.livejournal.com]

im 26, and the past year has been bizarre! i've been so anti-baby my whole life, and now i find myself dreaming that i'm pregnant, and waking up really disappointed that i'm not. i'm not married and certainly not financially ready to take on the adventure, but there's this surge of desire and "we'll figure it out when we get there" attitude. totally bizarre.

never thought it'd happen to me, but now i get it. it used to creep my out that my girlfriends from high school were all having kids, but now im just jealous.

you're not crazy (or I am too)

[nicolelily.livejournal.com]

Maybe this is a 29-year-old thing. For years I was apalled at the idea of ever getting pregnant, then six months ago my 24-year-old sister had a son. How I love that little baby! He is the sweetest, most wonderful thing ever. I didn't even think I liked kids. I thought motherhood was oppressive. Suddenly I find myself reconsidering. I've talked to my boyfriend about this and since we agreed quite a while ago that we both didn't want kids, it's difficult for him to understand. I don't know what I'll/we'll decide ultimately, but it's a more complicated issue than I ever thought.

[daisybones.livejournal.com]

thanks to all of you... it's reassuring to know a lot of women get baby-crazed. i'm back to my mantra: it's good if i am, it's good if i'm not.

[sulingsi.livejournal.com]

i agree it's perfectly normal and just wanted to add that you should try to get as relaxed as you can, because even though a lot of people can make it happen on the first try, lots of people need months and months to succeed. so you don't want to get so tied up with your emotions (if possible) on whether it works this month or not.

[daisybones.livejournal.com]

yes, thank you... i'm trying to keep myself grounded in the reality of that. the thing that is freaking me out is we AREN'T trying, so i should calm down. we will be trying relatively soon, when i have a better job, etc. but i'm acting like it's the last time sperm will ever enter my body... lol

anyway, on tuesday a blood test should pick up the hormones so i'll be going to the clinic & getting an answer.

[liquid-eve.livejournal.com]

sim freak?

[daisybones.livejournal.com]

huh? the video game? i'm not, unless that's not what you meant. *confused much*

[miss-gracie.livejournal.com]

I am can totally sympathise with your baby-wanting. Having a baby is all I seem to think about, and this has been going on for months and months. Having a baby wouldn't be convenient right now (boyfriend and I both still studying) but I would be happy to conceive, and every time I get my period we're both a bit disappointed.

[daisybones.livejournal.com]

yep, i am in the same boat. well, my husband won't be disappointed for US, just for me. he's excited about the idea but is much more pragmatic about our situation. i'm leaving to get a test in a few minutes so at least i can stop obsessing!

[skeptictank.livejournal.com]

I have a friend (male - about 35) who was anti-baby because he still thinks he's a college kid and his wife finally convinced him, "we're adults now... it would be the perfect time to have a baby" and he got all excited. But then she changed her mind...

He's crushed. He's sad that he's not able to look forward to having the baby that he never knew he wanted.

My point = men are funny like that. If they love you enough, they will share your happiness and your sadness and your desires regardless of what they thought they wanted.