I wanted to share this.
Well, I had my doctor's appointment today.
David's mom came and got us, and we went down to Birmingham after we dropped his brother-in-law off at work. Due to all the work being done on the roads, we were an hour late, but they still allowed me to come in without having to reschedule an appointment. Thank God for huge favours.
So, I called the Dial-A-Nurse thing yesterday and found the # to Birmingham Health Care, where they have a "sliding scale" fee system. I did NOT get informed that it was still going to be a co-pay. David's mom came and got us today and we went down there after the aforementioned thing about taking Bubba to work.
Well, we get down there, and they get me to sign some paperwork, and I was shaking so bad from the pain and having low sugar, my handwriting was very sloppy. So, I get all that crap out of the way, I have David walk me over to the desk, I get it handed in, and then I get called back up there a few minutes later, they tell me, "There's a $20 co-pay." I came unglued. I went off about how I'd spoken personally to that woman yesterday, she said NOTHING to me about all that b/s, especially when I told her I had NO income. What was I supposed to do, pay for it with my good looks!? No. Don't think so.
I asked if they could perhaps bill me, as I didn't have it on hand. She goes, "I'm sorry, but we don't bill for the co-pay." Bitch! I went off again, telling her that "I'm sorry" does not cover the cost of gas for my mother-in-law to come to my house on the other side of town to pick us up, not to mention having to drive from Pell City down to Birmingham, getting lost b/c they neglected to give us proper directions, AND having to drive home after we're done here! "I'm sorry" does NOT take care of anything like that. She just sat there looking at me like I was wrong in how I felt. Bitch bitch bitch! She's lucky I didn't come at her!
So, we get that taken care of, b/c David's mother (luckily) had $20 on her, and she said to David don't worry about it now, just pay her back later. God bless that woman, even though she seems like she don't like me much!
So, the nurse calls us back, gets my vitals, etc, and then gets a urine sample from me (which was a new adventure in pain!), and then the doctor comes in. I can't remember his name, but he's Vietnamese or something. Real sweet doc, though, he took the time to come in, introduce himself, and asked for my first name. Not something you find very often. They either address you as "Mr. or Mrs." whatever, they don't bother with first names. He was real nice to me, though, and every time he went to examine the "sensitive" spots, the parts of my body where it really hurts, I'd cry out when he'd touch me, and he'd go, "I'm so sorry, Tabitha!" in his thick Asian accent. So funny.
So, he goes, "I need you to go to the ER NOW for an ultrasound. It could be any one of 3 things: your appendix, your gall bladder, or your ovaries." I was freaking out inside. I told him that we'd gone to 2 different ER's, and they didn't do anything but tell me it's the flu and send me home. It's hardly the damn flu, people! He goes, "I will send a note with you. They will have to follow this note." hee hee I felt better after he'd done that for me.
Anyway, so we get back into the car, and they don't tell me that I can't eat anything before a GI ultrasound. I ate a small thing of fries and drank a Diet Coke on the way home. Bad idea. I didn't know, though, so don't hold it against me! LOL
We get to the hospital here in Pell City and they tell me, "Did you eat anything yet?" I said yes, just a small thing of fries and a Diet Coke. They told me they had to schedule the GI ultrasound, so I have to go back at 9.30 in the morning. I am going to feel like a Gremlin! LOL I can't eat or drink anything after midnight. ~le sigh~
Anyhoo, so they go ahead and do the ultrasound on my female organs, but I won't know what's going on with all that until I get the $$ together to get to the doctor's for the visit AND for gas to get to and from. ~le sigh~
That ultrasound they did do today, it HURT. I was ready to rip the bed apart. I was crying the whole time, and when she got to my right side, where the chief pain is, I screamed. David was down at the foot of the bed patting my leg and trying to tell me it's going to be alright. Ladies, hands of, he's mine. lol I know he's a keeper, but GET YOUR OWN! lmao
Anyway, so we get done, and our roommate comes and gets us and brings us home. David's wanting me to go to bed. No thank you. I'm wore out, but right now, I'm too wound up. I'm so close to knowing what's going on, I can almost taste it. My side doesn't hurt anymore, up by my ribs, which is a good thing, but they're still going to do the GI thing anyway tomorrow. May as well let them, as I won't have to pay for these tests. Get 'em done while they're free.
So, We ge home, and I make the mistake of telling my mother that I'm going to e-mail her the day's events, instead of calling her, b/c I called her last night, thinking I needed her and was going to get her to be my mother. She told me today that I just give her "crap" when she's always trying to "be there" for me. Bullshit.
Well, WW9 just broke out.
All this stress is getting me beyond worked up. I even asked dpuppy if he thinks I'm a bad person. He's a true gem. He said, "I doubt that!" He's so nice.
Right now, I'm hurting bad in my lower right side, and I'm scared of what the doctor's going to tell me. David's been through thick and thin with me through all this, and whenever I'm hurting, he's there to hold me until the real bad pain goes away, whenever I get sick, who's there to hold my hair back? David. Whenever I need a back rub, he does it without even asking. I love that man more than anything. He's done more for me, as has his family, than my own parents have bothered to even try. David's mother and I, for some reason, don't get along. She's taken to making nasty comments behind my back, but still, she came through for me with that co-pay today. The woman may not like me all that much, but she wanted to make sure she was there for me and her son, to make sure her son's girlfriend was taken care of. She's been there for me to talk to about my deceased kids, when my own mother turned me away, telling me, "You're dwelling on it."
Thanks for letting me rant. . .
Well, I had my doctor's appointment today.
David's mom came and got us, and we went down to Birmingham after we dropped his brother-in-law off at work. Due to all the work being done on the roads, we were an hour late, but they still allowed me to come in without having to reschedule an appointment. Thank God for huge favours.
So, I called the Dial-A-Nurse thing yesterday and found the # to Birmingham Health Care, where they have a "sliding scale" fee system. I did NOT get informed that it was still going to be a co-pay. David's mom came and got us today and we went down there after the aforementioned thing about taking Bubba to work.
Well, we get down there, and they get me to sign some paperwork, and I was shaking so bad from the pain and having low sugar, my handwriting was very sloppy. So, I get all that crap out of the way, I have David walk me over to the desk, I get it handed in, and then I get called back up there a few minutes later, they tell me, "There's a $20 co-pay." I came unglued. I went off about how I'd spoken personally to that woman yesterday, she said NOTHING to me about all that b/s, especially when I told her I had NO income. What was I supposed to do, pay for it with my good looks!? No. Don't think so.
I asked if they could perhaps bill me, as I didn't have it on hand. She goes, "I'm sorry, but we don't bill for the co-pay." Bitch! I went off again, telling her that "I'm sorry" does not cover the cost of gas for my mother-in-law to come to my house on the other side of town to pick us up, not to mention having to drive from Pell City down to Birmingham, getting lost b/c they neglected to give us proper directions, AND having to drive home after we're done here! "I'm sorry" does NOT take care of anything like that. She just sat there looking at me like I was wrong in how I felt. Bitch bitch bitch! She's lucky I didn't come at her!
So, we get that taken care of, b/c David's mother (luckily) had $20 on her, and she said to David don't worry about it now, just pay her back later. God bless that woman, even though she seems like she don't like me much!
So, the nurse calls us back, gets my vitals, etc, and then gets a urine sample from me (which was a new adventure in pain!), and then the doctor comes in. I can't remember his name, but he's Vietnamese or something. Real sweet doc, though, he took the time to come in, introduce himself, and asked for my first name. Not something you find very often. They either address you as "Mr. or Mrs." whatever, they don't bother with first names. He was real nice to me, though, and every time he went to examine the "sensitive" spots, the parts of my body where it really hurts, I'd cry out when he'd touch me, and he'd go, "I'm so sorry, Tabitha!" in his thick Asian accent. So funny.
So, he goes, "I need you to go to the ER NOW for an ultrasound. It could be any one of 3 things: your appendix, your gall bladder, or your ovaries." I was freaking out inside. I told him that we'd gone to 2 different ER's, and they didn't do anything but tell me it's the flu and send me home. It's hardly the damn flu, people! He goes, "I will send a note with you. They will have to follow this note." hee hee I felt better after he'd done that for me.
Anyway, so we get back into the car, and they don't tell me that I can't eat anything before a GI ultrasound. I ate a small thing of fries and drank a Diet Coke on the way home. Bad idea. I didn't know, though, so don't hold it against me! LOL
We get to the hospital here in Pell City and they tell me, "Did you eat anything yet?" I said yes, just a small thing of fries and a Diet Coke. They told me they had to schedule the GI ultrasound, so I have to go back at 9.30 in the morning. I am going to feel like a Gremlin! LOL I can't eat or drink anything after midnight. ~le sigh~
Anyhoo, so they go ahead and do the ultrasound on my female organs, but I won't know what's going on with all that until I get the $$ together to get to the doctor's for the visit AND for gas to get to and from. ~le sigh~
That ultrasound they did do today, it HURT. I was ready to rip the bed apart. I was crying the whole time, and when she got to my right side, where the chief pain is, I screamed. David was down at the foot of the bed patting my leg and trying to tell me it's going to be alright. Ladies, hands of, he's mine. lol I know he's a keeper, but GET YOUR OWN! lmao
Anyway, so we get done, and our roommate comes and gets us and brings us home. David's wanting me to go to bed. No thank you. I'm wore out, but right now, I'm too wound up. I'm so close to knowing what's going on, I can almost taste it. My side doesn't hurt anymore, up by my ribs, which is a good thing, but they're still going to do the GI thing anyway tomorrow. May as well let them, as I won't have to pay for these tests. Get 'em done while they're free.
So, We ge home, and I make the mistake of telling my mother that I'm going to e-mail her the day's events, instead of calling her, b/c I called her last night, thinking I needed her and was going to get her to be my mother. She told me today that I just give her "crap" when she's always trying to "be there" for me. Bullshit.
Well, WW9 just broke out.
All this stress is getting me beyond worked up. I even asked dpuppy if he thinks I'm a bad person. He's a true gem. He said, "I doubt that!" He's so nice.
Right now, I'm hurting bad in my lower right side, and I'm scared of what the doctor's going to tell me. David's been through thick and thin with me through all this, and whenever I'm hurting, he's there to hold me until the real bad pain goes away, whenever I get sick, who's there to hold my hair back? David. Whenever I need a back rub, he does it without even asking. I love that man more than anything. He's done more for me, as has his family, than my own parents have bothered to even try. David's mother and I, for some reason, don't get along. She's taken to making nasty comments behind my back, but still, she came through for me with that co-pay today. The woman may not like me all that much, but she wanted to make sure she was there for me and her son, to make sure her son's girlfriend was taken care of. She's been there for me to talk to about my deceased kids, when my own mother turned me away, telling me, "You're dwelling on it."
Thanks for letting me rant. . .
no subject
Date: 2005-09-15 02:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-15 07:59 pm (UTC)So do I. . .
no subject
Date: 2005-09-15 02:46 am (UTC)i hope everything goes well and you're taken care of.
you must be from Alabama? just figured from Birmingham and Pell City :p i'm from Huntsville and will be down in Birmingham this weekend... i am DREADING the traffic.
no subject
Date: 2005-09-15 08:08 pm (UTC)My boyfriend David grew up here in Pell City. You moving down here to B-ham or just visiting family?
Traffic's a bit of a nightmare, just in B-ham yesterday we were an hour late to my appointment b/c of all the construction!
no subject
Date: 2005-09-16 12:35 am (UTC)wow... moved from Colorado? must be a big change. we get like no snow in the winter, hehe. i hope you like it here!
no subject
Date: 2005-09-17 03:13 am (UTC)The only thing I dread is the tornados. :)
What's the Praxis test?
Safe drive and have fun w/your bf!! :) My bf and I might know him, what's his name?
no subject
Date: 2005-09-15 06:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-15 08:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-15 07:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-15 08:11 pm (UTC)Thanx!! :)
no subject
Date: 2005-09-15 11:37 am (UTC)I wish my MIL would be more like that. She doesn't even know about my past b/c they're uber X-ians & they think I was a 27 year old virgin when I got married. She & the immediate family (for the most part) have shunned us b/c they have an issue with how their son thinks for himself, but she has no problem calling & asking us for money all the time. They say all kinds of b/s about me behind my back just like David's mother does to you, except they never do anything for us - including showing up to our wedding or our reception (2 different days) & they're sickeningly sweet & nice to my face. We got threatening letters when we got married. My parents have been great to us though.
As for what your mom said to you: That's horrible! Mothers shouldn't be like that!
David sounds like a keeper. Hold on to him! ^_^ He sounds a lot like my husband.
no subject
Date: 2005-09-15 08:16 pm (UTC)I agree with you about the aforementioned doctors, etc.
As for the MIL thing. . .David's mother. . .She's an odd one, so is his sister. I just avoid them if I can do so.
My mother. . .Well, there's more she'd said to me, I ended up calling my friend last night and crying to her about it, she was sitting there on the phone with me and reading my lj and just stunned what my mother said.
Pretty bad stuph, man.
Thank you for the support and the well wishings. You're great!
no subject
Date: 2005-09-16 11:20 am (UTC)Avoidence is always good. I try, sometimes it doesn't work & I have to go up there to stop them from abusing my husband. When I leave, I usually want to kill someone - even if the visit was a good one. Something about their place...Maybe it's all the super Baptist vibes - I dunno. (I'm Asatru - something else they'd whig out about)
Man, that's rough! I hate it when family, of all people, just doesn't get it. You're supposed to have a bond or a good relationship - or at least a mostly civil one with the other members. With your kids, you should definately have a working relationship - they're precious & part of you. Sheesh! I'd like to beat that into a few heads!
Awwwww *blush* Thanks. You're quite welcome.
no subject
Date: 2005-09-17 03:15 am (UTC)Yeah, the MIL and I talked today. It's weird, we noticed we're a lot alike! (freaky).
I don't have a bond OR a good relationship with EITHER of my 'rents. I don't like that, b/c it hurts. My own MIL is willing to talk to me about stuph my MOTHER should be talking with me about. Well, I guess I'm going to have to take the MOMMY thing where I can get it, and if it means going to the MIL for support on the emotional level as well as the other ones, then FINE, I have NO problem with that!! :)
no subject
Date: 2005-09-30 01:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-20 12:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-30 01:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-21 02:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-05 05:40 pm (UTC)David and I aren't together anymore, he and I split up 2 weeks ago, b/c he says he hates himself and wants to try and figure things out. I don't know what's going to happen, but we are going to spend some time apart from each other and work on things of our own, and try to go from there.
>HUGZ
no subject
Date: 2005-10-05 05:54 pm (UTC)But I'm sorry to hear about you and David. My ex did the SAME thing to me ("I don't like the person I am and I can't seem to find myself when I have US to worry about... I don't feel like I can change me without changing us...") but unfortunately in my situation he was with someone else 9 days later. But look how happy I am now! I have a boyfriend who calls me at 2am to tell me that he can't get to sleep without me there and needed to hear my voice before bed.
Anyhow, if he comes back, then good for you. If what he finds makes him someone that you don't want to be with DONT LOSE HOPE. If you're meant to be with someone (David or anyone else) you'll end up with him in the end.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-05 06:12 pm (UTC)I know what you're saying. I waited for 2 years for someone before, and I told David I don't know if I can handle that again. At the same time, though, I don't want to be with him if he's going to call me "dummy" and whatnot else. I can't handle that. I refuse to handle that again. I gave 15 months and a living child to a man who did that to me. No thank you. Not doing that again.
I once read that if you can see your mate in the darkest hours of your life holding your hand and being there for you NO MATTER WHAT, and at the same time allowing you to be there for him/her in return, then it's meant to be. Funny thing is, I used to see David that way. My son's anniversary, 9 years this year, was in June. 7 years anniversary for my oldest daughter next Tuesday. David was planning on conveniently having other things to do on her date, but when it was my son's, he was all about being there for me. I'm still trying to figure out what went wrong. . .
Granted, no, I am no angel in all this, and if you can get into my journal to read it (I think I have to add you, but if I do, let me know, and I shall!), you can see that; I have trust issues, and I admitted that, all over the place, but that's no reason for him to call me those nasty names. I don't think there's any valid reason for that.
I love the guy, don't get me wrong. I will always love him. BUT. I love myself enough not to stick with someone who's going to berate me and when I fight back, is going to turn around and treat me like I'm the bad guy in it all.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-05 06:35 pm (UTC)But on the topic of him making you feel bad - my ex never treated me like that until after we broke up. He BEGGED me to set aside my hurt and jealousy and anger to just be his friend, and he made me feel bad if I declined invitations to hang out with his new girlfriend... I tried so hard to make the friendship work. And then one day he decided he didn't want to be my friend and he blamed it on ME making it too hard for him to be friends with me. I think he was trying to distract me during that time when the person you dump normally talks shit about you and makes you sound like the bad guy. Eventually I believed that maybe I had screwed up our relationship AND our friendship. Now I see that I did nothing to hurt him or to wreck things... for all I know it was his plan from the start.
Of course when we broke up I tossed in a little kicker to feel like I had SOME semblance of control and I said to him, "I hope you thought long and hard about dumping me, because I WILL NOT go through this again. If you want me gone you better REALLY want me gone because after this I won't be taking you back when you get lonely. You can either find yourself and come back to me or break it off completely because I won't be jerked back and forth like what you and your ex went through." It hurt to say that, but we had broken up once before for a week and he decided it was a bad idea and I took him back. What whole week I was sick with pain... couldn't eat, couldn't sleep... and I didn't want to do that every time he decided he wanted a change of scenery. Girls are not toys to use and then toss aside for a month!
But I see what you're saying. I don't doubt that you care deeply for David but if he is going to give you the runaround, it's probably not going to be the happiest situation anyhow. With 2 kids and a life of your own, you don't have time for that kinda bullshit. For all you know an even BETTER man could be waiting right around the corner for someone just like you. I never thought I would be happier than I was with Kevin, and now I am.
I like to think of our hearts as a little vessel like a jar or a bowl... you may feel so much love for someone that you don't think you could feel any more deeply about them without it overflowing... but they get crudded up and someone else comes along and finds all of the little rocks and pebbles that fear and distrust and heartbreak have left behind and clears them out - once they're gone you have even MORE room in there than you did before and you can REALLY love him more completely than you've ever loved someone else before.
Who knows... maybe when David "finds himself" he will know how to "clear the gunk out" and make you even happier.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-12 02:07 am (UTC)I don't blame you for not wanting to be put in an uncomfortable situation like being around his new girlfriend. Oy.
I have decided, and God forgive me for this, I can't be with David no more. I can't handle the nonsense again. I can't go through it. I don't want to be with anyone anymore. If I ever do, someone kick me in the head! LOL
The thing is, I just got back to my favourite place in the USA, Columbus, Ohio. I don't know if it's just b/c I have been away for 2 years, or what, but the more I'm looking around, the more I realize how much I missed it, and I keep thinking "To hell with Alabama!" I just don't know.
One step at a time. . I guess. . .
I agree, girls aren't toys!
Don't get me wrong, I am not going to sit here and make it all out to be him the bad guy, but I'm not taking all the blame, either. I freely admit I was wrong for things I said, but I only take responsibility for my own actions, no one else's.
I don't want to be with someone that's going to be like David was. I had a long talk with Pete, my friend I call my "personal sex therapist" (I can go to him about questions of a sexual nature, that I'm too embarrassed to ask my doctor!), and he told me that David's just a little kid trying to play a man's game. He and I agree: TABITHA NEEDS TO BE SINGLE TO WORK ON TABITHA.
I do love David so very much, and it hurts that we're going through this "trail separation," but the jury's back in, and I don't want to go back to Alabama. I can't be with him. I can't be with anyone anymore right now. David and I can be friends, but nothing more.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-12 02:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-12 02:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-12 02:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-12 02:40 am (UTC):)
no subject
Date: 2005-10-12 03:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-12 11:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-12 01:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-12 01:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-12 01:26 pm (UTC)And you?
no subject
Date: 2005-10-12 05:45 pm (UTC)