tell your story to an artist!

[neutralgrrl.livejournal.com]

hi everyone,

my name is nicky and i'm a 22 year old artist living and working in boston, ma. i'm a huge fan of "menstrual pride" and incredibly interested in both the power and the embarrassment associated with menstruation. currently i am planning a project in which i take the stories of various women's first periods and reproduce the words onto a handmade quilt. in my best case scenario i get stories from women and girls all over the country/world all talking about the beauty/horror/excitement/joy of their very first period.

how can you help?

well, i am interested in hearing from all walks of life. young, old, lesbian, straight, no matter. just tell me your story.

things to consider:
-how old were you?
-what were the circumstances? [i.e. were you home alone? with your older brother? etc. etc.]
-did you know what was happening?
-how did you feel? embarrassed? ashamed? frightened? overjoyed?
-how did your family respond?
-how did your peers respond?
-how did this experience affect the way you feel about your period now?
-anything else you feel you can add would be wonderful!

you may leave your submissions in the comment section here or email me at neutralgrrl@gmail.com with the subject line: First Period. you may reply anonymously, or under a false name, however it would be ideal to at least have your current age and your location.
for example: "Victoria, Age 17, Houston, TX"

also, for those who are comfortable, a current photograph of yourself/face would be so helpful as i plan to do contour drawings of each face and stitch the stories within the faces. if you can not do this, it's fine. i'll just have to make up a face for you, haha.

this project should be completed by the end of november or the middle of december and i will post pictures for you all upon it's completion!!!

and to be fair, here's MY first period story:

i must have been about eleven years old. it was around the time most of my friends were starting and i recall feeling both jealous and nervous about "the arrival".
would it hurt? would the blood be unbearable? what will happen to me?
my mother, of course, had explained the event in her naturally matter-of-fact way. you bleed. you wear a pad. it sucks. the end. and i remember feeling slighted in that there was no "celebration" to it at all. wasn't this the act of becoming a woman?
when it arrived, i was home alone with my father and younger brother. i had pulled my pants down that morning to the sight of tiny brown spots from the night before, but still, i couldn't be sure. i went through the day confused and afraid. i said nothing to anyone. my father brought me to my grandparents' house where i spent the remainder of the day with my grandfather, another unapproachable subject. i counted the hours until my mother returned from work.
and, as expected, when she arrived and i nervously muttered the news the first thing she asked was, "why didn't you put on a pad?" followed by a brief demonstration of what to do and how to do it.
i regret the lack of ceremony to it all and if anything i am only inspired not to let my own daughter feel so slighted.

thank you so much, everyone!!!

xoxo
nicky

Comments

[lileprechaun.livejournal.com]

Kathy, age 19, Rockville, MD
-how old were you? I was 15.
-what were the circumstances? [i.e. were you home alone? with your older brother? etc. etc.] I was babysitting my cousin's kids.
-did you know what was happening? Yes.
-how did you feel? embarrassed? ashamed? frightened? overjoyed? I remember thinking "finally." I was relieved and excited.
-how did your family respond? Well I only told my mother and she was relieved as well. We had recently discussed my lack of periods with me pediatrician, who said that if I hadn't gotten it by my 16th birthday she wanted to do tests.
-how did your peers respond? I think they assumed I'd gotten it ages ago. It's not something we really talked about.
-how did this experience affect the way you feel about your period now? I'm glad I was a late bloomer. I was much more prepared than most girls are/were emotionally. I hear a lot of stories from other women about how they didn't know what was happening and they thought they were dying. And then how quickly they came to resent their periods. I, on the other hand, knew exactly what was happening. I think the long wait has something to do with the fact that I appreciate my period.

I do have a picture that I can email to you. Any particular size?

[lileprechaun.livejournal.com]

I was in a rush when I wrote that so I forgot to mention that when I got home that evening from babysitting and told my mom, she let me have a glass of red wine to celebrate. Overall it was a positive experience and continues to be a spiritual time for me.

[meteetsee.livejournal.com]

things to consider:
-how old were you? I was eight or nine years old.
-what were the circumstances? [i.e. were you home alone? with your older brother? etc. etc.] It was a Monday, and there just happened to be a cancellation of school that day... I remember that I felt lucky that school was off. I took off my underwear, and showed them to my mom. "Mom, I think I got my period..."
-did you know what was happening? Yes.
-how did you feel? embarrassed? ashamed? frightened? overjoyed? I felt proud that I was going through something my older sister was.
-how did your family respond? My mom just said "You're too young" and then showed me how to use a pad.
-how did your peers respond? MOst of them didn't know what it was yet. Sex ed came two years later.
-how did this experience affect the way you feel about your period now? I went through stages liking and hating menstruation. Now I feel it is a spiritual tool.

[neutralgrrl.livejournal.com]

thank you! can i have your name, age and location?

[meteetsee.livejournal.com]

Clare, 16, PA.

[rhiannonhero.livejournal.com]

I was eleven years old and visiting my female cousin's house. She was about 9 months younger than me, and had not started her period. We had been playing outside and gotten really muddy, so we decided to get in her parents' jacuzzi tub. I pulled my jeans and underwear down and saw the blood. I knew what it was. My mom had told me about it before, although I have no specific memory of that conversation. I was quite proud of myself and showed my cousin. I treated her like she was "just a child" all the time, so I kind of lorded it over her that I had my period and was a grown-girl.

I called for my aunt and she called my mom. My mother came over with a pad and told me how to use it. By that time, I was kind of embarrassed because I realized that my uncle knew and I didn't want him to know anything about it. My mom left a pad with me in case I needed a second one. And that was that.

It was kind of anticlimactic in a way. I'd been very proud when I first saw the blood, but by the time everyone in the whole house knew and my mother had come, I was embarrassed and just wanted to ignore the whole thing.

As for how it affected the way I feel about my period now, I guess the fact that I generally wish it was something I could ignore resonates. I mean, I certainly don't feel proud when I get my period. I also don't feel ashamed either. Although, I do find myself squeamish about buying "feminine hygiene" products from a male check-out teller. So, I guess I continue to feel uncomfortable with males knowing about my period.

[rhiannonhero.livejournal.com]

I forgot to give my stats.

Rhi, age 31, Knoxville, TN

Darcy, 19 now, Louisville, KY.

[mabapunta.livejournal.com]

I started my period when I was 13 years old, the same day my father discovered he had a kidney stone. I called around to my friends to see if anyone could take him to the hospital. We lived about 30 minutes away from the hospital and our extended family, and my mom and two older brothers were out of the house. I don't know if I solved the transportation problem or not, but I remember talking to my best friend on the phone while I went to the bathroom. I then found out that I'd started my period. I told her so and she laughed. I don't think I was particularly excited about it. Maybe relieved a bit. It was my first step into development as a woman, the rest of my body still hasn't quite caught up...I've given up hope on it. Since my mom was away and wasn't entirely comfortable being the only female in the house during my first period, I stayed the night at my best friend's house. Her mom gave me the talk about how I was now a woman and could produce children, yada yada. That part didn't excite me all. Who cares! I was 13. I knew it would come and I expected it...so I dealt with it while it was there. Hated the cramps and general sick/gross feeling...and was very relieved when it was over. I feel basically the same way now. I'm basically over the embarressed part...trying to hide pads from people in my room, in my backpack, at the store or whatever. I also don't go screaming to everyone that I'm on my period, because I know no one really cares haha.

I guess that's all. If you need anything else, let me know.
Oh, a couple passable pictures of me here (http://uniquelyput.deviantart.com/gallery/).

[mynamewastaken.livejournal.com]

strangely enough this makes me miss my period.. havent had it in almost a year..pregnancy and all..

how old were you? just turned 12 (july 9th 1996)
-what were the circumstances? [i.e. were you home alone? with your older brother? etc. etc.]my mother and i were playing Monopoly and I felt something weird.
-did you know what was happening? not until i went to the bathroom and saw blood.
-how did you feel? embarrassed? ashamed? frightened? overjoyed? I was ecstatic.. I felt like a woman! i was nervous telling my mum though.
-how did your family respond? my mum was secretly happy as she says now..she took it calmly and helped me out at the time.
-how did your peers respond? I told my bestfriend and she was jealous.
-how did this experience affect the way you feel about your period now? It didnt really..but its been so long since I've had a period. it'll be like having my first again :P

[neutralgrrl.livejournal.com]

thank you for sharing, hun. can i have your name, age, and location?

[mynamewastaken.livejournal.com]

yeah Heather, 21 , Victoria BC , Canada

[deadlychameleon.livejournal.com]

I was 11 years old, I knew exactly what it was, still got kind of a negative adrenaline rush, my mom looked kind of embarassed and didn't really want to talk about it. I generally wished I'd never gotten it, tried to sort of hide it from other people, got really pissed at my mom when I overheard her telling one of her friends. It was at a time in my life when I was really unhappy in general, and more generally unhappy to be female. My parents views toward teenagers and teenage girls were, and are, fairly negative. I had recently switched schools, so I didn't have any friends close enough to talk to about it. That would have helped, in retrospect.

It doesn't really bother me anymore, I've gotten to the point where I just feel like I can do anything while on it. There is a kind of electric charge to it, I think, a sense of power when I get now. I guess it was that I felt like I had no control over my body and my life when I was little in so many ways that it really bothered me.

[neutralgrrl.livejournal.com]

thanks! can i have your name, age and location?

[deadlychameleon.livejournal.com]

hmm. anonymous, 23, central Pensylvania

[suzycat.livejournal.com]

I was 13 and the year was 1978. It seemed that everybody had their period. Everybody in the world. Except me. Other girls would ask "have you started yet?" and I would reply "no", and they would look at me with the eyes of women and say "you're so lucky. It's Really Awful." And I would pray and pray to God that my period would arrive.

School had just started back, so it must have been February, and since this was New Zealand, it was summer. I attended an all-girls' school and was familiar with the destructor, but not yet the strange prohibition about using it openly. In retrospect, that morning there had been a spot of blood on the sheets. Why I, throbbing with envious period awareness, didn't put two and two together I'll never know. I spent the day noticing that I had a slightly sore stomach, but it was not until I visited the toilets that I discovered the smears of blood on my inner thighs.

For a few seconds, I was aghast. What the hell was this? Then, realisation and relief swept over me. I had my period! Feeling sort of electric and excited, I sought one of my menstruating friends and asked if she had a pad. "I've got my period," I said, fake-casually. "Ugh, you have too," she said, catching a glimpse of my smeary thigh. "Go and put a pad on!"

So I did, belatedly giving the bloody marks a bit of a wipe. It was all very new and exciting.

I know I told my mum the second I got home but I don't remember her reaction. I do, however, remember her amused support when a couple of years later I tried and failed to insert a tampon. She was very good about periods. Still is.

Stats: Suzycat, 41, New Zealand.

[moo13.livejournal.com]

I was 13 years old, one of the last of my friends to get it, but I didn't care. It was an embarrassing subject matter among my friends and we didn't really discuss it much, but from witnessing what some of my friends were going through, I dreaded the arrival of my periods. They all envied me for not having it yet. It came on the night after my grandmother’s funeral, a horrible ending to an already depressing day. I was getting ready for bed and noticed the brown stains in my underwear. My first reaction was complete denial; I didn't want to admit that was what it was. I hoped I cut myself or had any other kind of affliction. So, I ignored it and went to bed, hoping that maybe it wouldn't be there in the morning. The next morning I awoke to what looked like the aftermath of a massacre on my bed sheets. I dreaded telling my mother because I knew she was one of those types that longed for her period when she was that age. Indeed, she was completely overjoyed and wanted to take me out to "celebrate" but I just scowled at her. I wanted to be left alone so I sought solitude in my room after my mother was done gushing about how I was “becoming a woman”. I curled up in my room the entire day experiencing for the first of many days with something I had never dealt with before - the pain of cramps. I steamed over my hatred of what womanhood involved: pain and stains. My period was heavy, I soaked through pads quickly and was irritated by the constant wet diaper feeling between my legs. Everyone said I was becoming a woman but I felt like an infant. I also stayed home from school for an entire week (my periods back then lasted for 9 days), thankfully having the excuse that there had been a death in the family, when really it was because I didn't know how to use pads yet without having them leak and my mother said I was too young for tampons. My periods are MUCH better now thanks to the pill and tampons, but I suppose each month I loathe them (not quite as much as I did back then) and long for the days when I was free of its confinement.

[neutralgrrl.livejournal.com]

thank you so much! can i have your name, age and location?

[moo13.livejournal.com]

Michelle, 21, Michigan

[garillama.livejournal.com]

I got my first period at a mass choir event in the 8th grade. I remember the summer before, at a physical, the nurse-practitioner I went to said that runners often started later, so I hadn't really worried about it. I got really bad cramps, and had to sit out from the rehearsal. One of the women there asked if it could be my period, and I said no, because, well, I hadn't started yet, had I?

When I went to the bathroom, there was brown discharge in my underwear, and I wasn't sure if it was a period or not! For the first couple of months, in fact, I didn't have real blood in my periods. I hid it from my mom, because I wasn't sure if it was my period or not, and I wanted to be sure before I told her. She actually found out by finding a used pad in my trash can.

Kayla, 18, Moscow, ID.

My icon's a picture of me, but if you need a more detailed one just ask :)

[neutralgrrl.livejournal.com]

this is great, thank you so much! can i have your name, age and location?

[kyl33t.livejournal.com]

Kylee, 19, Indianapolis, IN
-how old were you? 12
-what were the circumstances? [i.e. were you home alone? with your older brother? etc. etc.]I had just woken up and suddenly felt a sensation I hadn't felt before. (Unfortunately I'm now well acquainted with that cold wet feeling when you wake up and realize you're lying in your own blood lol). I just showed my mom my underwear and said "yea...".
-did you know what was happening? Yes.
-how did you feel? embarrassed? ashamed? frightened? overjoyed?Excited
-how did your family respond? I only told my mom, and she was excited. She gave me pads and tampons and went shopping and brought me home chocolate, candy and a butterfly necklace.
-how did your peers respond? We didn't really talk about our periods back then. It wasn't a thought on most of my friends' minds, I found out later that I was one of the first to start..almost a year or two earlier.
-how did this experience affect the way you feel about your period now? I don't really think that experience affected me all that much, except maybe to let me know its a fact of life. Girls get periods, periods suck, but periods are meaningful.

[bleppo.livejournal.com]

-how old were you?
Nine
-what were the circumstances? [i.e. were you home alone? with your older brother? etc. etc.]
I don't really remember -- I know I was at school.
-did you know what was happening?
Yes.
-how did you feel? embarrassed? ashamed? frightened? overjoyed?
I was *extremely* pleased with myself. I ran home and called my father at work.
-how did your family respond?
My father was surprised. My mother, not so much. I found out later she was nine when she first got her's.
-how did your peers respond?
Curiosity. I think they were a little horrified. Mostly I remember adults -- parents of peers -- trying to figure out how to explain me to their children.
-how did this experience affect the way you feel about your period now?
I *quickly* got over the being-so-pleased-with-myself thing. I think I still see it as this miserable ordeal that I have to deal with every month. And, whenever I have an accident -- like everyone does now and then, I'm 9 years old, in gym class, and have to figure out how to jump over the horse without the entire world seeing the massive stain between my legs.
-Rose, 30, Watertown, MA

[bowtie-camera.livejournal.com]

things to consider:
-how old were you?
-what were the circumstances? [i.e. were you home alone? with your older brother? etc. etc.]
-did you know what was happening?
-how did you feel? embarrassed? ashamed? frightened? overjoyed?
-how did your family respond?
-how did your peers respond?
-how did this experience affect the way you feel about your period now?
-anything else you feel you can add would be wonderful!

It was the end of the year in 5th grade, and I was nine years old. I was spending the week with my entire grade at the much anticipated "5th Grade Camp", sort of a celebration or graduation out of elementary school and into junior high. The first night there, I started having pains in my stomach. The food at the camp was pretty gross, so I blamed it on that. The next morning, there were brown stains on my underwear, and dark brown blood on the toilet paper when I wiped. I had no clue what it was, and I thought I was dying or had some sort of infection or something. I was terrifed and embarrassed, and didn't tell anyone what was going on. The entire time I was at camp, I didn't wear a pad or anything. Luckily, the flow was light enough to where it didn't soak through my clothing (just my underwear). Five days later, when I returned home, I showed my mom my stained underwear and started bawling, not knowing what was wrong with me or if I had done something horrible to deserve this. She got the "deer in headlights" look and said "wow, I didn't think it would come this soon...you're so young.." and then I had my first "talk". A week later, we had sex ed at school.

My name is Kristina, I'm now 21, and live in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

[bowtie-camera.livejournal.com]

Also, for some unknown reason I was TERRIFIED of my father finding out. I went to great lengths to hide it...I wouldn't come out of my room if I had to wear the thick pads if I was bleeding heavily. I wouldn't wear pants that were the slightest bit tight that might show my pad. It was really weird, because I'm not really sure where these fears came from.

[bowtie-camera.livejournal.com]

oh, and a picture: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v21/kriztalena/cutenewhair.jpg

[tinydancer7.livejournal.com]

-how old were you?
i was 12. i was so close to being 13. it really bothered me that i got my period at age 12. it seemed like a very teenage thing to have, and i wasn't a teenager yet. it felt so wrong.
-what were the circumstances? [i.e. were you home alone? with your older brother? etc. etc.]
i'd gone shopping with my mother the night before i got my first period. i had horrible cramps, and i honestly thought i just had to poop. the next morning, though, i woke up with blood in my underpants. i was wearing yellow pajama shorts with a big smiley face on the back. my mom said, "congratulations. you're a woman." then we went to visit my dad and brother at boy scout camp. horrible place to have one's first period.
-did you know what was happening?
i knew what was going on. i'd read about it.
-how did you feel? embarrassed? ashamed? frightened? overjoyed?
i was just annoyed. i was also confused. i didn't know how long i should keep the pad in. i didn't know how much a pad could hold. i was going to the bathroom every hour or so just to make sure i wasn't making a bloody mess of myself.
-how did your family respond?
i don't think i ever knew what my dad or brother thought. my mom was very supportive of me, though. she was really understanding.
-how did your peers respond?
i don't think i told them. it was over the summer, so by the time school started again i'd had my third period. it was kind of old news by then. and i wasn't sure where they were at in their puberty journey, so i didn't want to make myself out to be ahead of them or behind them in any way.
-how did this experience affect the way you feel about your period now?
it didn't, really. i formed a lot of my own opinions about menstruation as life went on. i'm not thrilled when i get it, but i'm not nearly as annoyed as i used to be. it just feels like part of a great cycle. i bleed and then i stop and then i bleed and then i stop. it's going to go on like that until i get pregnant. and then it'll go on like that again until i go through menopause. it's all a cycle. i love the roundness of it. i've come to appreciate it for what it is. someone's first period is always very abrupt and life-changing. now that i know what to expect, i know how to make it my own.

Lauren, 20, Pennsylvania

[denisia.livejournal.com]

-how old were you? 11 1/2.

-what were the circumstances? [i.e. were you home alone? with your older brother? etc. etc.] I was out to eat with my family, I went to the bathroom, and...blood. Lots of it. Luckily my pants hadn't been stained yet, so I just made a makeshift pad out of some paper towels and went back out to the table, as if nothing had happened.

-did you know what was happening?
Yes. My Mum had the whole 'birds and bees' talk with me when I was three, because my best friend's mother was pregnant and I wanted to know why. She had another talk with me when I was about 11, and she bought me a book called "Period" that explained everything in detail. I knew what was happening, and why.

-how did you feel? embarrassed? ashamed? frightened? overjoyed?
I was completely horrified and humiliated. I didn't see it as a positive thing at all.

-how did your family respond?
I didn't tell them. I basically hid my period for a good half year, until my mother finally caught on. She gave me the fifth degree about it, asking all sorts of questions. I didn't feel comfortable talking with her, and I didn't want her to know. She told me I could pick out a present to 'celebrate' it, and I thought it was the most demented thing I had ever heard of. I asked her not to tell other members of the family. She told them anyway, and I was really angry with her.

-how did your peers respond?
I *did* feel comfortable talking with my friends, so I did. I was one of the first kids in our circle of friends to get her period, so I was the object of curiosity for a while. I got a lot of questions, but I didn't mind answering them.

-how did this experience affect the way you feel about your period now?
I'm still not all that comfortable discussing menstruation with anyone, really. I also get horrfyingly bad cramps and pain, so it's not a pleasant experience for me. Luckily, my period only lasts a day or two and comes irregularly, so most of the time I can pretend I'm not having it.

-anything else you feel you can add would be wonderful!
Denise, 28, NYC. I resemble my icon pretty closely, or I can give you another photo if you'd like.

[ex-the-major316.livejournal.com]

How old were you?
13
-what were the circumstances?
I was wandering around the graveyard next to my home with my friends clearing away leaves/rubbish. I had really bad stomach cramp all of a sudden, really nasty it made me feel quite pale and ill. Went home, almost had to crawl to the loo, and found blood - lots of blood. Sat on the loo for five or so minutes feeling absolutely horrifyed.
-did you know what was happening?
Yes, we'd had the sex and "growing up" talk at school. Mother had presented me with a box of (really nasty!) pads about a year or so earlier.
-how did you feel? embarrassed? ashamed? frightened? overjoyed?
I was horrifyed. It was so messy and disgusting and I had no control of it what so ever. It hurt, it made me feel uncomfortable, the whole idea of walking around with a pad full of blood twix your legs really made me feel ill.
-how did your family respond?
My parents were away at a funeral at the time so I scribbled a note and put it in mothers room before hunting out the painkillers and rejoining my friends. There wasn't really a reaction, no welcome to adulthood no celebration of being a woman. I wasn't really comfortable with talking to mother about it (nor anyone else for that matter) it just felt like something you had to keep a dirty secret.
-how did your peers respond?
Most of my friends were a lot younger than me so we didn't really talk about periods and growing up stuff.
-how did this experience affect the way you feel about your period now?
I still hate my period and are really uncomfortable talking to anyone about it. For ages it felt like a dirty thing some form of punishment for being a woman. Its taking a long time to accept it as anything else!
-anything else you feel you can add would be wonderful!
Clara, 20, England.

[urania.livejournal.com]

Rebecca, age 22, Virginia, USA.

Mine started when I was around 12, going on 13; I was slightly on the late end of things (didn't particularly bother me, though). I knew what to expect, in a factual sense; my parents had always been very open.

I had had some spotting the night before, so that day (a Monday) I did the sensible thing: I wore black shorts and undies *grin* Before English class, I went to the bathroom, and when I wiped, yup, blood. I had pads with me (the power of preparedness!), made it to class late (was too embarrassed to have told the teacher, so I took a pentalty but nothing that got me in trouble), and was slightly crampy till the end of the day. Told my mom, through more embarrassment; they had never made me feel "dirty" or "ashamed" of it, but I was a very private person, especially as a younger kid. I did not like to share information about bodily functions.

The reaction was that I had handled the situation well, that this was part of the normal progression of things. I think I would have been mortified at any sort of "celebration" or "recognition;" despite the little pamphlets we got in sex-ed about how this was *OMG wow! part of growing up*, to me it was still very private and personal and new and a little uncomfortable. I also went to great lengths to hide it from my father, although I knew my mom had told him! *grin*

[urania.livejournal.com]

Oh, and this is a neg-color photo of me from about 4 years ago (but still pretty close). I don't have any better ones online, I'm afraid. Best of luck with your quilt, though!

[whoremoan.livejournal.com]

lisa, age 19, oklahoma city, oklahoma
-how old were you? 12 and a half to the day
-what were the circumstances? i believe i was at home right after the first day of school. i don't remember details tho.
-did you know what was happening? yep.
-how did you feel? a little relieved since all of my friends already had theirs but also slightly frightened because i'd have to tell my mom(i'm not sure why i was scared to tell her because we always got along great and i had no trouble talking to her about these things)
-how did your family respond? well i told my mom right after church while we were in the car. she simply said okay we'll go to the grocery store. that was the end of it.
-how did your peers respond? i didn't mention it. we didn't talk that much about menstruation.
-how did this experience affect the way you feel about your period now? i'm fairly neutral about my period. then and now. if i'm getting bad cramps i feel like it's a curse but other than that i'm just like oh yeah that thing.
-random funny info: before my friends and i got our periods we thought that it might feel as though we had to pee when we did get them. thankfully i asked my mom(i was the only one not scared about asking) and she set me straight.
picture: http://photobucket.com/albums/v330/fadedsock/Camera%20Whore/?action=view¤t=PICT4433.jpg

[anythingtwice.livejournal.com]

I'm Jenna, I'm 19, and I'm from Toronto, Ontario.

I started just before I turned twelve. As in, a month before I turned twelve. I was home alone with my brother - I think my mom was either at work or had taken my sister to an appointment. Went to the bathroom in the afternoon and saw the blood. I was like, "Well, damn. I think this is my period." And didn't quite know what to do. I knew Mom would be home soon so I think I just left it. When she did get home I told her my suspicions and showed her my underwear. She confirmed them and showed me where she kept her pads. And that was it.

Later I learned that I had started mine at the same time my mom had, which was neat. Also very, very awesome was that when it started, I stopped wetting the bed. It was like my immature bladder knew better all of a sudden. :-)

Didn't really talk about it with my friends. There has always been a sense of normalcy about menstruation with my friends - we all know it happens, it happens to all of us, so we leave it be. I think that has led me to be very comfortable with it and now I'm more into menstrual activism and alternative products, which especially stemmed from my abhorrence of tampons.

Here is a picture: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v482/jayintheuk/160705-01.jpg

[juicykisses.livejournal.com]

-how old were you?It was the 2nd week of 8th grade so I think I was about 13
-what were the circumstances? [i.e. were you home alone? with your older brother? etc. etc.] my family was sitting down to dinner and when we did I decided to go to the bathroom, and when I did I found out I went upstairs and put on a pad.
-did you know what was happening?After the fact I remembered that before dinner I was lying on my mom's bed watching tv and something felt different, but I didn't really know what.
-how did you feel? embarrassed? ashamed? frightened? overjoyed?Nah I was more bummed, just cause I knew what a hassle it would be.
-how did your family respond?I wrote my mom a note and stuck it under her bedroom door telling her, and that I didn't feel well. I told her not to tell my dad, but obviously she did, and I remember being slightly mad when he said something.
-how did your peers respond?They didn't really know.
-how did this experience affect the way you feel about your period now? It didn't really affect it in any way. I've never really been a fan of my period, I've gotten really bad cramps and been really heavy for most of it. Oh, and incredibly irregular too. But now I have an amazing boyfriend who tries to help me out as much as possible during the whole process. He's a saint.

Sarah, 18, California

[juicykisses.livejournal.com]

Oh, bay area, CA

and a picture link, cause the picture is huge.

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y211/whiteshoefetish/Senior%20Pictures/Picture003.jpg

[myhalobroke.livejournal.com]

Ashley, 19, Illinois

-how old were you? 11
-what were the circumstances?
I had just rode my bike to my grandma and grandpa's house where I was supposed to stay until my parents got home from work. My grandma was at work too. So just me and my grandpa! I went to the bathroom and when i wiped, there was some blood. I knew what was happening but I didn't know what I was going to say to my grandpa. So I said "I'm sick" and called my stepmom at work. She told me where she kept her pads and things and told me to ride home on my bike and put one on. When she got home she said we would go get the right kind for me. (I knew all about it because in 5th grade they made us watch a movie in PE class all about it.) It was June. That weekend I went camping with my grandparents. So I spent my first period in a motor home. FUN!

-did you know what was happening? Yes thanks to my school.
-how did you feel? embarrassed? ashamed? frightened? overjoyed? all of the above!
-how did your family respond? My dad acted really weird for like 2 weeks around me. My stepmom started treating me more like a woman than a child.
-how did your peers respond? They were jealous actually that I started before any of them!
-how did this experience affect the way you feel about your period now? I just laugh when I look back on that experience. I was really scared then about the bleeding leaking on to my clothes and embarassing me. I'm so over that now and it just seems easier now that I'm used to the whole ordeal.
-anything else you feel you can add would be wonderful!

Picture of me and my daughter:

[1scarletbegonia.livejournal.com]

i just wanted to tell you that your little girl is gorgeous

[rule-discordia.livejournal.com]

Julie, 25, southern Mississippi.....

I was 11. I was on a horrid softball team. My grandfather was in the hospital, and so was my brother (he had mono). I had had a game earlier that day, and as soon as I got home, I was to be shipped off to my aunt for a couple of days (my mom always, *always* has to go be with people in the hospital). When I got home and started changing out of my gross softball uniform, I noticed a big brown stain on my underwear, but I was being rushed so I just threw them in the hamper with the rest of my clothes and got ready to go. I had been at my aunt's house for about an hour (without having told anyone; I was and am socially phobic, and certainly wasn't going to tell anyone about this) when my mom called from the hospital. She was tired and I'm sure excited for me, but she seemed a bit snappish as she told me she'd noticed my underwear was "dirty" and why hadn't I told her I'd started my period. (The stains were brown--I'd always been told my period would be blood!) She told my aunt and she discreetly (thank God!) gave me a pantiliner. (She had 2 sons, one of which had a buddy over the WHOLE TIME I was there...so it was just us two females and a bunch of rowdy boys!) A few days later when I got home, I was taking a shower, and came out to find that my dad had gotten a box of pads for me (my mom still wasn't home) and put it on the table next to the bathroom door. So my period started out as a source of shame, and only very recently have I been able to claim it as a sort of "health barometer" and nothing to be ashamed about...

Best of luck with your quilt!

[casey1979.livejournal.com]

hi i'm casey. i'm 26 years old. from south carolina.
my family had always made fun of us girls maturing, the women poked fun, the uncles did too. i hated it b/c i had started wearing a bra at 9. they were already teasing me about that and that i was shaving my legs. i did know what periods were. i spent most of my time at my grandmas house where my aunts, who were still in high school when i was 10, lived as well. it was my 11th birthday, the summer between 5th and 6th grade, june 30th and i was at my grandma's house w/ my sister. we were outside turning cartwheels and goofing off when i had to go use the bathroom. i had multi colored shorts on w/ white panties and saw blood in them. but i was mortified. my sister was still outside so i grabbed a bunch of my aunts pads, put them in my bag i had w/ some books, threw the panties away wrapping them in papertowels and stole a pair of my aunts panties and put a pad on. (my mom had a hysterectomy a year before so there were no pads in my house). a spot of blood was on my shorts but they had red on them anyways, so u couldn't tell, and i was going home soon so i didn't care. better to have blood on my shorts u couldn't really see than to tell anyone i had started my period.
i kept it from my mom for about 3-6 months. it was a long time. i remember i had gotten a lil blood on some panties and washed them myself, and stuffed them in the back of my drawer. mom found them and asked me about it. i blamed it on my friend lisa. i just did not want anyone to know. i did not want my family to know. i didn't care if my friends knew, just my family would rake me over the coals. and really for no reason at all, they're just stupid like that. and that they did when they found out.
now i don't care. i hate the tampon ads that try to make it seem like girls/women should be ashamed that they're having their periods. i'm probably a lil too openmouthed when it comes to periods and women bodily functions. if i had plants i'd probably be one of those women who watered their plants with their own menstrual blood hehe.

here's a pic of me dressed up for rocky horror picture show, w/ red hair. figured it'd fit w/ the color of the topic.
good luck on your project ;-) from 1 artist to another

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/1103/casey1979/redandblack.jpg

Re: My story

[neutralgrrl.livejournal.com]

woot! yay boston! [i actually live in jamaica plain now, it's great!]

this is a great story, thank you so much! and my email is neutralgrrl@gmail.com if you'd like to send a pic. and since you're so close you could probably see the quilt in person once it's done! hehe.

[joyful--girl.livejournal.com]

-how old were you?

I was 13. It was fall and my mom had passed away 5 months earlier. I used the toilet and saw a smeary brown discharge on the toilet paper when I wiped. I rifled through the cabinets, found a tampon (my older sister didn't use pads), stuck it in and went on about my day. Late that evening, I poked my head into my dad's room and said, "Um. I got my period. I just thought you should know." He turned red and said he thought I'd already gotten it.

I felt relieved, as I was sure I was the only one my age that didn't have her period yet. Then again, I was upset. I felt (and still feel) that this is one of those things that should be shared between mother and daughter, and here I was, having an awkward conversation with my dad.

It wasn't celebrated. It wasn't spiritual. It wasn't much of anything except for a way to make my dad leave me alone. For much of the six years I've dealt with it, it's been an annoyance, an irritating monthly reminder of mortality and a biological clock ticking. I'd always forget to mark down when I got it, so it would surprise me each time. I was constantly leaking into panties and sheets. At more than one point I declared myself "bad at this whole menstruating thing." I didn't know how to handle it properly.

It wasn't until recently that I really began to embrace it. Suddenly, I'm able to look at the zit that pops up on my normally clear skin and know that I'll be having cramps within 24 hours. When I get the cramps, I know it's time to start sleeping with a towel under me.

These days, when the cramps are unbearable, when my breasts are tender, when I'm stressing over the zit on my chin, I'm able to stop and remember that all these things are so exclusively feminine and that they should be treated with the same reverence as the curve of my hips and the swell of my breasts.

-ellen, 19, il

[dove95.livejournal.com]

rhiannonhero linked this entry in her LJ, and I was intrigued. I hope I can still help! :)

-how old were you?
I don't really remember. I think 11 or 12.

-what were the circumstances? [i.e. were you home alone? with your older brother? etc. etc.]
It was a weekend that I was at my dad's, but he was still at work. It was what ever Friday that particular year was. My stepmother and two of her sisters were visiting. I don't know if my half-sister was around either.

-did you know what was happening?
I had already had one of those sex ed classes in school, so when I felt a little wet down there, I figured it was that.

-how did you feel? embarrassed? ashamed? frightened? overjoyed?
Hmm. Didn't really care. I think I actually remembered thinking, "Great, now I'm going to get this every month. SUCK!"

-how did your family respond?
Now, you're a woman? I dunno. It seemed to be pretty significant, but I don't really recall it being that important.

-how did your peers respond?
I didn't tell them.

-how did this experience affect the way you feel about your period now?
Not much. In fact, actually, I celebrate a little more when I'm on my period because it 99% means two things: 1) I'm not pregnant (because I don't want kids), and 2) everything is working okay down there. Having a normal period makes me feel normal.

-anything else you feel you can add would be wonderful!
Oh geez, you'll love this.
So, when I go to the bathroom to put on a pad, all by myself, I come out and tell my stepmom and the aunts. I sit down, and say, "It feels weird."
"Weird how?"
"Sticky. Uncomfortable."
Well... turns out that I put the adhesive TOWARDS my vagina and NOT towards the panties. OUCH!! Other than that, I've been okay with the whole ordeal. I've never really been hit with big PMS or cramps or that heavy of a flow. The worse was before I had back surgery... so from 12-16, it was irregular and more heavy. Now, it's MUCH more tolerable.

yeah.

Okay, stats.
Kris, 28, NJ (formerly from IL)

[gooniegal.livejournal.com]

I filled it out too being that you posted about it. : )

[dove95.livejournal.com]

such a good sport :)

[gooniegal.livejournal.com]

Jenn, 26, Florida

-how old were you? 12 or 13 I forget
-what were the circumstances? [i.e. were you home alone? with your older brother? etc. etc.] I was at home with my family and we were getting ready to go to my brother's little league game.
-did you know what was happening? At first I kind of didn't and I screamed for my mom. But then I kind of figured what was happening whem my mom and older sister came in.
-how did you feel? embarrassed? ashamed? frightened? overjoyed? I was nervous and upset. I didn't want to be bleeding from my vagina. LOL Then the rest of the day I sat in the car at my brother's game. I just wanted to go home and lay down.
-how did your family respond? My mom and sister were reassuring but then almost embarrassing cause they told my dad what happened.
-how did your peers respond? I didn't really tell them.
-how did this experience affect the way you feel about your period now? I didn't really affect it. I still hate my period because I don't just get the period I get the Mega killer cramps that go along with it. The kind where a heating pad and two midol doesn't stop.
-anything else you feel you can add would be wonderful!
This is an interesting survey. I used to always say "I wish I was a boy" everytime it was my time of the month. I don't say that anymore but i always ask why can't i have a hysterectomy. (sp?) I really don't like my period, it's just a pain in the ass. (well actually a pain in the stomach.)

sorry I'm pretty late with this...

[betyouneverknew.livejournal.com]

-how old were you?
-what were the circumstances? [i.e. were you home alone? with your older brother? etc. etc.]
-did you know what was happening?
-how did you feel? embarrassed? ashamed? frightened? overjoyed?
-how did your family respond?
-how did your peers respond?
-how did this experience affect the way you feel about your period now?
-anything else you feel you can add would be wonderful!
(I need this as a reminder)
I was 14, my mom was in the hospital for the 3rd time that year for problems with her thyroid, this was her second surgery. My dad was there but I didn't tell him at all, I just got a pad from under the sink and kept it to myself. My aunt took me to visit my mom in the hospital and I told them both there. THey were very excited about it for some reason and told me that I was a woman now and my mother even cried. My aunt wanted to throw a party...I didn't really feel like it was anything special and I didn't feel one way or the other about it but i was glad that my mom thought it was such a big deal. I actually didn't tell any of my friends because they all assumed I had my period already...I think that my mother and aunt's reactions made me really proud to be a woman.

Daisy 20, Austin, TX

[ruggrat.livejournal.com]

-how old were you?
-what were the circumstances? [i.e. were you home alone? with your older brother? etc. etc.]
-did you know what was happening?
-how did you feel? embarrassed? ashamed? frightened? overjoyed?
-how did your family respond?
-how did your peers respond?
-how did this experience affect the way you feel about your period now?
-anything else you feel you can add would be wonderful!
I remember it was about a week before my 12th birthday. I got up in the morning and felt...sick...not ill, just achey all over. When I went in the bathroom I noticed blood, and I was *really* scared and embarassed. My mom had gone through "the talk" with me in a couple installments, starting when I turned 10 (and I didn't ever want to listen o.o). So instead of tell my mom and ask her where the pads were, I stuffed toilet paper in my underpants and pretended nothing was different, figuring I'd explore her closets later and steal some so no one would know. It was Sunday and the family was going off to a flea market, and on the way out the door my mom stopped me and said "Did you get your period?" I was like.."um, yes, how did you know?" "Mother's intuition I guess." I still don't know how she found out-maybe she saw the bulky toilet paper, maybe just because I took so long, but maybe it was intuition. I made hner promise not to tel my dad or two younger sisters. We went to the fleamarket and she bought me a little red heart necklace. I don't know what ever happened to it.
I was very secretive about it then I didn't want any of my friends to find out, which is in stark contrast to my feelings now! I live with two male roommates and we often have guy friends over at the house, but I'm prone to running around, shouting about how I have my period and I'm using a diva cup and the weird counterpoint of dull achey pain and buzzy fertile energy.
Most of my pictures are totally work dangerous, so send me an email at ruggrat@gmail.com and I'll edit one to be a head shot : )

[swiggett.livejournal.com]

-how old were you?
10 years and one week

-what were the circumstances?
It was the summer, so Mom, sister and I were at home. I'd been having stomach problems all day... now I know why. I went to the bathroom and say the blood, and yelled "MOM!" I essentially knew what was happening, but still was surprised and over whelmed... I felt like I was way too young.

-did you know what was happening?
essentially, yes

-how did you feel? embarrassed? ashamed? frightened? overjoyed?
overwhelmed, early

-how did your family respond?
The way my voice sounded, my mom, considering the condition of my tummy, thought that it was something else, until she entered the bathroom. She showed me what to do, and how to wash out the underwear in the sink to prevent staining, and said we'd get some of those ultra slender tampons for me to try. Didn't succeed right away, but did about 6 months later, trying on a bored whim.

-how did your peers respond?
I don't remember. I don't remember if I told them.

-how did this experience affect the way you feel about your period now?
If my husband has those early development genes, I feel sort of sorry for any daughter we may have, b/c lord knows when she'll get it. I'm used to it now, and with the help of BC, have a regular, managable flow... which results in many fewer stained pairs of underwear. I used to love tampons over pads, but now I love the Diva Cup over all else. As I am married, and have sex on a semi regular basis, but am also in grad school, and do not yet want children, I am always happy when the period comes, and tell my husband.
As inconvenient as it can be at times, I'd rather have my uterus [despite period-induced exclamations to the contrary] and my period than be without them totally. It can be a powerful thing

[swiggett.livejournal.com]

PS, sorry, I'm Emily, 22, now in Austin, TX for school