celebrating menarche

[darkenedminds.livejournal.com]

In this community and probably others (i may crosspost), I've noticed a lot of women feel badly that their mothers or families did not celebrate their first mentruation. Worse, I've noticed many who were led to feel dirty or shameful during "that time of the month".

My curiousity is - did anyone receive good vibes or celebration when they had their first period?



I remember the night I told my mom I thought I'd started my period. I was barely nine, and she was fifty-four. She didn't have any pads ready for me, being past menopause, so we went to the 24 hour drugstore and she bought me pads and a pint of ice cream. She took a few minutes to show me how to wash my panties with peroxide and cold water. My dad gave "the new little woman" a kiss (I was so embarassed that my mom told him!!!) and made me french toast in the morning. My mom, sister, aunt and I went shopping for pretty panties and lingerie a day or two later on a girls-day. It was nice, especially since my family isn't the type for girls-days or breakfast in bed. I didn't get what the fuss was about, but the attention was nice, and in retrospect, I appreciate that they didn't just shove a pad and a bottle of Midol my way. I still have my first "pretty bra" from that shopping trip even though its so tiny now and the lace is falling apart.

If this is too off topic or been done already, I'll delete it. I'm just curious :)

Comments

[hexeengel.livejournal.com]

My mom was thrilled and told everybody :P We wanted to do something with the other women we knew, like going out to dinner or something, but that never worked out. Though I definitely plan, if I have a daughter, to do something for her, like giving her a gift basket, making cloth pads, and going out for a meal with whoever she wanted.

[carinn.livejournal.com]

no one cared when i got mine, my mom was like "oh.. well.. i'll wash your undies, here's a pad."
i dont even remember when it was, thats how unspetacular it was... i only remember that i got it in april... and during the following summer i didnt have it, but when school started back i got it again.

i think i was 12.

[eluted.livejournal.com]

I was ten. Some girls in my class had already started, so my mother had already talked to me about pad changing, etc., and what it would be like, and how I would know when I'd started. So one day, early in the morning, I noticed I had begun my first period. I told my dad, because he was the housedad and my mother was at work. So he called my mom, and she told me I could stay home from school if I wanted to. So I did, and it was alright, and the next day, I went back to school and told everyone.

So it wasn't, like, special, but it was nice, and it wasn't a terrible beginning.

[smashingstars.livejournal.com]

Wow, that sounds nice.

My mother -- a nurse, no less -- never talked to me about my period. She did once hand me an encyclopedia opened to the "menstruation" section and told me to read it. I think I was 10.

Then one day when I was 12 I thought I'd started my period. She demanded to see my underwear, then after investigation said she thought it was just a spot where I'd hadn't wiped myself well enough. No joke. I was mortified. A day later it started for real, and all she did was point me to the tampons. I stood there, alone in the bathroom, reading the instructions on how to insert them, which was confusing because I didn't actually really know where all my parts were, if you get my meaning. Found out pretty quick.

Oh yeah, it was a hoot.

[stratyllis.livejournal.com]

I think it was just a 'yay, you're growing up' moment for my mother and I. It was acknowledged, but not celebrated.

[nzgoddess.livejournal.com]

I celebrated big time with my daughter & her friends and I are all very open & pro 'the curse' ♥

[estarti.livejournal.com]

When I got my first period, it was more of a relief.. since I only just started menstruating four months ago, and I'm 19 :P Had to go on birth control to kick start it, and through loops of doctors. So it wasn't anything special, just a source of worry for my mom and myself. I had learned everything I should have known just because of how late I started, so there was no 'passing down of the knowledge' :]

[belinconnu.livejournal.com]

yeah, a friend of mine started when she was almost 17 and we threw her a big party.

[fingrpaintsmile.livejournal.com]

When I got my period I was 9 years old, and didn't know what it was. I was away at camp for a week when I got it, and when I got home I started crying and said I was bleeding. She then explained it to me, showed me how to use pads, and we never really talked about it again until I was old enough to actually understand what it meant.

[t4-flirt.livejournal.com]

Lucky you. If I ever have a daughter, I'm so doing something like that for her.

I got my period two months after I turned 13, and I remember it being right before Christmas, so my mom was far too busy to do anything but wash my panties(while showing me how to do it at the same time), and make sure I knew how to use a pad. We were supposed to go to lunch, I think, but that never happened.

[1scarletbegonia.livejournal.com]

that's too cute.



i hate change, so i was in denial and ignored it for 2 months (woohoo for starting off light enough that that was okay haha). and then i almost cried when i told my mother because i was so embarassed. i still don't talk to her about it, even though she's a nusrse.

[garillama.livejournal.com]

Yeah, same here. I don't know WHY I hid mine, but I guess I was a pretty quiet, shy kid, so I guess I was just embarrassed to reveal something so personal? My mom actually found out (she found a pad in my trash) and asked me about it, and didn't make a big deal, so that was nice.

Now that I think about it, I seem to remember the same thing happening with my older sister...

It's weird, because my family was all women, and very open about such things. Even my Dad (who lived close by) was pretty open in talking to me about reproductive issues. So I don't know what my problem was ;)

[skeptictank.livejournal.com]

Yep, I only told my mom because I couldn't NOT tell her (I was the oldest kid and my mom used tampons so I just told her so she would know to buy me pads. I was not thrilled about it.

[iworshipsatin.livejournal.com]

My mom celebrated mine and my sister's. Although I still still think it is disgusting and I hate it with a passion.

[ex-the-major316.livejournal.com]

My parents were off at a funeral when mine started - 13th September. I was out with friends (strangely enough looking at gravestones in the local church) so I nipped home changed my knickers and left mother a note.

She appeared the next day with some HUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEE pads, even grandmas safety knickers weren't as big as these really incredibly huge (I've still got a pack of them - they made me walk funny). She brought loads of them - it really scared me that I was meant to fill them with blood! I didn't think I had that much blood in me! I hated the first few months because of these huge pads (most of the time I just used a few pieces of toilet paper) til I could get out one weekend and buy some smaller things.

No one told me about how to get the blood stains out til I was nursing my grandfather who'd regularly bleed over his shirts from his dialysis treatment.

Mother was the only one who know about it for ages, I didn't tell any friends (though possibly because most of my friends were male!) and father only found out when we packed our bags to go to a cycle race.

Your experience sounds really incredibly great. I'd love to be able to do that if I ever have a daughter / cousin / niece... though I did get the pleasure of being the first person to know that a girl in a writers' group had "started" - she was so upset about it because all her friends hadn't and her mother was at work. So after the group I took her to the local supermarket and found her a pretty bag to fill up with a variety of pads (not the huge ones!!), painkillers, chocolate... I enjoyed it as much as she did! LOL

[sawyerlove.livejournal.com]

My mum took me out for ice cream when I was nine to explain "becoming a woman" to me. I was so grossed out at the time. Four years later, I got it and told my mom. At the time, her best friend and her husband were over so she came downstairs after getting me a pad and gushed "Vickey just got her period!" I wanted to die! We planned on a lunch or something I think but it never happened. She did get me a BUNCH of pamphlets from her gyno about it though. I acted disgusted but read them all dozens of times. Four years after my first period, it's routine, easy to deal with for the most part, and I've still got those pamphlets.

[belinconnu.livejournal.com]

I remember we were camping in Canada and I was upset with myself for choosing then to start because I kept throwing up.

[spiffychicky.livejournal.com]

I remember when I first got mine it was just a brown spot and I was so scared to tell my mom because I was afaid it wasn't really my period and she'd think I was lying to her. But she was chill with it. She'd already shown me all the basic pad stuff and kept a big bag of them in the closet. When I told her she hugged me and started crying because I'm the oldest, and the only daughter, and she's kind of emotional like that. Then she bought me a HUGE box of godiva chocolate. And I took a very long time to eat it, even though I usually just gorge, because I realized it meant something.

[ex-overdosa.livejournal.com]

I was twelve when I got mine. Pretty average, right? Unfortunately, my period story is nothing special. I wiped and saw bright red blood, and that was it. I didn't leak my first time and had people find out before I knew or anything like that, like some girls. I didn't get a party or present or anything. I took pads that they'd given us in school and used them for my entire first cycle. Like [Unknown site tag], I was in denial. When it came again the next month, I knew it was real and I couldn't deny it anymore. I dragged my mom to Savon's and took her to the pads and tampons section and she was like, "You got your period?" I was like, "Yes." and she was like, "Congratulations; you're a woman now! You can have babies. But don't sleep around or do bad things with boys." and we bought the pads and that was it. Nothing spectacular, she didn't even try to cook like a special dinner or anything.

[ex-overdosa.livejournal.com]

That unknown LJ tag was garillama.

[jaipur.livejournal.com]

Heh--I was 12 or 13 and got it just as I was going to PE class. My gym teacher (big woman) was like "Yay! You're a woman now!" and got me a pad--when I called my mom after school she said the same thing. Embarrassing as heck; I just wanted to make sure I didn't stain my pants, I didn't want anyone cheering... ;)

[gerutha.livejournal.com]

I was really embarrassed! I remember getting it during the school day, but not realising til I got home and there was a mess in my undies. :/ Unfortunately we had to go out that evening, so I used a pad from a free pack I got from school, hid the knickers and didn't say anything. When we got home I spent ages in my room talking myself into telling my mum, finally waiting 'til everyone else had gone to bed and tiptoeing down, glad she was still up! I can't remember clearly, but I think she just hugged me and gave me a packet of pads, and that was it. She'd bought me a book a while ago as it was pretty clear from family history that I'd be starting some time soon after my 14th birthday, and she knew I'd been through talks at school, so we just kinda left it at that. I get the impression that she's kinda embarrassed herself and it makes the whole situation awkward! I switched to buying my own supplies fairly quickly - handing her a receipt was far less embarrassing than having to ask her each month! Of course now I have my mooncup (and boy am I glad I didn't have to explain that one! Miraculously she knew what it is!), and I don't need supplies every month, I'm freeeee!

[skeptictank.livejournal.com]

When I was 13 my mom bought me some book about things young girls should know. It was about bras & periods & kissing parties. I wasn't real thrilled that she gave it to me at my birthday party with my friends around. I was even less thrilled when she suggested that I open it up and read a section out loud.

Then when I was almost 14 I got my period as we were running out the door to go to the Woodward Dream Cruise in Detroit. For some reason my mom had put a sample thing from Always with 1 pad in it in my bathroom ages ago so I used that for the day. I didn't mention anything because I was sort of embarassed and totally in denial.

Finally I had to say something because I was out of supplies (or should I just say supply) so I called to her from down the hall. And I called and called. As usual, she was on the phone and not paying attention to me. Finally I stomped into her room with tears in my eyes and said, "MOM! I NEED YOU! GET OFF THE PHONE, WILL YOU?"

She immediately knew what was up. She cried a little and I told her to shut up because I was standing there bleeding and just needed a pad quickly, not a hug. But other than that it wasn't even something that we talked about because when she tried to talk to me on the subject she was crude and lacking any kind of tact.

Now, 8 years later I'm finally able to talk about it with her although I find that now I have very little to say.

Mine was fine too

[yduras.livejournal.com]

I looked one day and thought "so that's what they meant by 'spotting'," got a pad from my mom's closet and carried on. I'd been sufficiently briefed, so there were no suprises. I didn't feel the need to mention it, not out of shame, but just because I'd known it was coming and didn't think it was a nig deal. My mom asked me the next day (probably noticed someone'd opened a new box of pads, and I was the only other female in the house). She told my brothers and dad, and announced we were having a girl's day out. She bought me lunch and a new outfit and life went on.

At the time I was kind of mortified at my wacky anthropologist mom (she was big on celebrating "rites of passage") and thought she was making a huge deal over nothing. In retrospect it was kind of sweet.