tiny vagina problems

[eatingjello.livejournal.com]

apparently i have weird tiny vagina problems. tiny being a modifier of vagina, not problems. i'm 21 and i've never used tampons because i've never been able to get them in. i've also tried to have sex several times with my ex-boyfriend and i had to make him stop before it went anywhere at all because it just hurt too much :(. i went to a gynecologist for the first time a couple months ago so i could get on birth control to regulate my periods (i'm no longer sexually active) and she used the smallest speculum she had and it still hurt :(

i just wonder if anyone else has this problem or if ANYONE has any advice. right now i just want to use a freaking tampon, but i tried this morning and honestly i couldn't get it in there. i feel so stupid and like i'm 14 or something. any particular brands or kinds i should use? i'm still on the first day of my period so it's a pretty consistent flow.

heeeelp

Comments

[morning-stand.livejournal.com]

Well, I would recommend using plastic applicators instead of cardboard ones. They tend to go in more smoothly. I use Tampax pearl when I need to.

Although, I take a birth control called Lybrel, and it completely stops my periods (that's just how it works.) so I never have to worry about tampons or anything :)

But, I understand your problem. Some people are just built smaller :/

[uozlulu.livejournal.com]

I did a bit of Googling, and a general consensous was that if you are feeling you are too small for tampons, you might not have adequate lubricant and might need to add lubrication to the process to get the tampon in. They also suggested that if you feel small, you should work with teenage-sized tampons, not go for a super absorbency type.

Womanswers.org (http://www.womenanswers.org) had a few questions that had sensible answers attached about this type of problem.

I hope that helps. I personally avoid tampons because they hurt me because my nervous system is out of whack all over.

[eatingjello.livejournal.com]

thank you so much! i'll check this out

and also i never thought of using lube with tampons, i'll try that...

[uozlulu.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I would think you wouldn't want too much on it, but that's what they were saying. Also plastic applicators since they're slippier.

[dindin.livejournal.com]

While I feel for you, perhaps saying you felt like you were "being raped" is a poor choice of words. I've had painful exams, can sympathize. But I'm quite sure it was nothing like actually being raped.

Are you trying to put tampons in during the heaviest part of your period? That's generally when it's going to be easiest. Have you ever put a finger inside yourself? My two immediate guesses are that you're not properly lubricated and/or you're too tense. If you've had problems with tampons before you're anticipating the pain and tensing up in spite of yourself.

Most women's vaginas are of an average size, but a vagina is actually walls of muscle, not a hole. That's why things like tampons stay in and don't fall out - but if there's no lubrication it's going to hurt. There's friction.

I'm partial to OB's without applicators, basically because it's like putting a finger inside. You just put the tampon around your middle finger, lie down or squat, and put it in.

Start with your own finger. If you can get that in, try an OB. I know it's hard, but take deep breaths and relax and try not to anticipate pain.

Did your gynecologist check your hymen by chance? There's always the possibility that it's thicker than average; in which case putting anything in is going to cause you pain. My sister had hers removed at the doctor's office. A few snips, no big deal.

Hope one of these works.

[briar-witch.livejournal.com]

I agree with you on the choice of words. While I sincerely do not wish to discount the OP's experience, I think that perhaps a comparison to being raped was not necessarily the best choice of analogy.

OP, I know you meant no harm, and I do hope you can find a solution to your problem.

Peace

[eatingjello.livejournal.com]

...yeah that never even occurred to me that that might be offensive. sorry

[eatingjello.livejournal.com]

i've heard about OBs and i've had them -- that's what i've been trying with. those and tampax pearls (which honestly look huge by comparison :( ) i think i probably do tense up a lot -- right now is the heaviest part of my period but when i try to put a tampon in there, it goes in maybe a centimeter and then it feels like it just hits a wall, and i can't go any further without it hurting. should i just keep pushing anyway? :/

[debdebdebby13.livejournal.com]

The vagina kind of curves so try to wiggle it around and see if it slips past that turn.

[debdebdebby13.livejournal.com]

or change your angle once you hit that "wall" saying it that way makes more sense.

[dindin.livejournal.com]

I'm going to try this again. It's actually extremely offensive to compare a painful gyno exam to being rapes. I'd personally appreciate it if you'd edit your post.

If it's painful, stop. Go do something else, come back to it in a little while. Take warm bath, read a book - do something to not focus on it and then try again.

Were you relaxed when you tried to have sex? Was there enough foreplay?

You may want to go back to your gynecologist. She can check your hymen among other things, to rule out any physical problems.

[eatingjello.livejournal.com]

i apologized to someone else who mentioned that but i guess i forgot to do it with you -- it never occurred to me that that might hurt someone's feelings, maybe just because i'm accustomed to being around my friends who use pretty violent imagery for everything (e.g. "somebody shoot me in the face" when we're frustrated... or "he raped me with a speculum" concerning visits to the gynecologist) even though we're all FAR from violent people. so i am sorry. wrong slang with the wrong company

[breelligerent.livejournal.com]

Are you a mod? Because your username isn't listed as one in the community info.

[dindin.livejournal.com]

I'm a person. And I asked politely.

[breelligerent.livejournal.com]

But she shouldn't have to change her entry because it unintentionally offended/hurt someone else. There isn't anything in the community rules stating that all entries must be pleasing to everyone and she wasn't trying to be an asshole or push anyone's buttons.

[dindin.livejournal.com]

The problem's been resolved politely between all members involved. I don't see why you're bringing it up.

[breelligerent.livejournal.com]

The principle of the matter is bothersome considering that I was under the impression that this was supposed to be a place of understanding where women helped other women regardless of semantics. No one should have to edit an entry because one person (or even a few) is offended by a choice of words.

I was uncalled for for you to demand that OP change her entry when you are not a mod and the OP was asking for help, not scrutiny and attacks. The issue isn't resolved just because she changed her entry. If members start demanding that posters change wording in entries because of semantics, how is this a place of respect and help? It's an issue of power and authority and the respect for all members in this community.

[dindin.livejournal.com]

Strange. My exact words were "I would personally appreciate it if you would edit your post." If you find that demanding, I can't help you.

If you have a problem with how this went down, I suggest you contact scottobear.

[eatingjello.livejournal.com]

i respect your opinions and feelings, so i did indeed remove the phrase at your request, especially after a couple others pointed it out as well. however, the manner in which you asked for it, i have to admit, made me extremely uncomfortable about discussing such a personal issue with you any further. i think it was the "I'm going to try this again" that could have been executed differently.

[dindin.livejournal.com]

I said that because you completely ignored what I said about it the first time. I'm sorry you feel the need to bring this up because a community troll has.

If you have a problem with how this went down, I suggest you contact scottobear.

Take care.

[eatingjello.livejournal.com]

i did not "completely ignore" your statement. i explained to you that i apologized for the phrasing with someone else, and that i had simply forgotten you mentioned being offended as well. with so much great advice i got on this post, i guess i wasn't keeping track of the comments very well.

i don't feel the need to contact a mod for the community about this because i don't have a problem with the way the community is run, just about the way you as an individual approached (and still are approaching) the issue. to clarify, your methods of getting your feelings across to me made me as uncomfortable with the post as my poor choice of words made you. with such a sensitive, intensely personal subject on both sides, i hope you can understand.

you take care, too.

[eatingjello.livejournal.com]

lastly, a little OT, but i fail to see how somebody disagreeing with you qualifies her as a troll. please have a little more respect towards members

[healthnut22.livejournal.com]

Vaginismus might be the word you're looking for.

[eatingjello.livejournal.com]

yeah that's what i was thinking too -- that if my gyno saw anything wrong or strange she would have told me. she's my regular doctor as well and she's generally really thorough about inspections and what she does and sees in her patients. i don't know... thanks for the help though :) i'm somewhat fortunate that me and the boyfriend actually broke up so i won't have to worry about having sex for a while... it's just the tampon thing that's bothering me now, although i suppose i would like to have sex someday... :P

anyway, thanks for the advice very very much

[nelsolidarida.livejournal.com]

I agree with the comments about the rape comparison. However distressing this is, there is a big difference.

Having said that, I understand the problems you are having, especially as I started using a menstrual cup while still (technically, in vaginal terms) a virgin. Suffice it to say I would echo the suggestion of using lube - it really helps. Smaller tampons are also a good idea - often they have the same absorbency as regular ones. (If you can get a brand that expand lengthwise, while these are crap from the shedding fibre perspective they are easier to get out) Having said that, the main thing (easy for me to say, but it does come from painful first experiences with tampons, a mooncup and sex) is to try to be as relaxed as possible and not freak out, because that will make everything tense up and make it worse. If you already have a good way of dealing with stress - whether it involves meditating or masturbating - then try doing that first. And avoid trying to use tampons while in a hurry until you're more used to them.

[noveldevice.livejournal.com]

Have you considered that you might have vaginismus?

[solestria.livejournal.com]

I was going to ask this as well.

[breelligerent.livejournal.com]

Unrelated, but don't worry about everyone flipping shit about the rape comparison. While the emotional response is different, the physical sensation can be very similar and also out of your control. I hope that you didn't feel attacked in here because this is supposed to be a safe place and the members should be responding to your issue, not your choice of words.

On a related topic, self-experimentation might help you but it seems like there's also a physiological component as well. Also, angle has had a lot to do with the ease of insertion in my personal experience. Good luck everything!

[eatingjello.livejournal.com]

the few times my ex-boyfriend and i tried to have sex we just tried missionary -- i wonder now if that position was actually not the best to start with

thank you for your support, by the way, about my phrasing. the way some people reacted to it did make me uncomfortable about staying active in the post, to tell you the truth, but i suppose i also understand it might make other people uncomfortable about reading it. in any case, i'm glad most people here understood that people taking offense didn't even enter my consciousness when i wrote that

so thank you :)

[breelligerent.livejournal.com]

When I tried to have sex the first time, I had the same problem with missionary. Missionary is not conducive to losing one's virginity in my opinion.

I hope to see you around here :)

[lilblondbrat.livejournal.com]

sounds like you may have a thick hymen. if it doesnt break naturally (tampons sports etc) you may need to have your doctor break it for you its a simple procedure.

[layovers.livejournal.com]

yeah, it could be this.

[layovers.livejournal.com]

I'm the same way. I'm 21 and still don't use tampons. I used to use the OB ones with lube and still couldn't get them in. I switched to Tampax Pearl and they go in easily, but they still feel uncomfortable even when I push them all the way inside. (have you tried them?)

Sex and fingering hurts like hell too...

My mom is pretty sure my hymen hasn't been broken all the way so that could be your problem.

Go back to your GYN and get her to check your hymen.

[eatingjello.livejournal.com]

i think i might do this, thanks. Tampax pearl is one of the ones i've been trying with recently, but I can't seem to get them to go anywhere either :(

i think i will go back to my GYN soon. i hope everything works out for both of us someday <3