bah :-(

[marielsblue.livejournal.com]

eeeek, this is kind of unrelated to the menstrual hut, but i badly need advice, and maybe someone can help me out??
a couple of months ago, to make a long story short, i got kind of drunk and ended up making out with this guy, and he fingered me (which is as far as ive ever gone with a guy, im 16) -or so i thought- and the next morning i was kinda sore and had a brief moment of wondering if id lost my virginity, but i wasnt THAT drunk (maybe a little bit tipsy, definitly sober enough to tell him not to go any further) and anyway, i still got my period that month, and im on it right now...
now apparently tho hes telling people he raped me or something (what the hell?!??!? grrrr, after not calling me, too, i thought it was all over with) and i find myself wondering..
i would know if i was pregnant and/or lost my virginity, right??
arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh

Comments

[adamantplatypus.livejournal.com]

First off, I have to wonder what kind of an IDIOT would walk around telling everyone he RAPED someone. Is he TRYING to get nailed for a crime?

I'd see your gynocologist, I believe they have the ability to tell if there's any forced entry, semen kind of thing. But ONLY if you're SERIOUS. Accusing someone of rape is a huge deal, even if you're not sure it happened or not.

[krzy.livejournal.com]

but if this happend a couple of months ago like she says, then there won't be much evidence down there for anyone to collect and how well would they be able to tell forced entry?

[marielsblue.livejournal.com]

argh, i dont even know if hes saying it for sure, or if this other guy is spreading some incredibly messed up rumor.
i dont want to accuse him of rape, im almost sure i consented..

gah i feel like such an idiot.

bloop

[crapige.livejournal.com]

you really shouldn't drink, its soooo not worth it, loosing your virginity to some weird guy or winding up pregnant, or just not remembering will probably just make you go crazy if you got into a situation like this again, do what you will. just make sure you can handle the consiquences...er something...

[isolt.livejournal.com]

depending on the state, you may not be able to legally give your consent when drunk. you also may not have been able to legally give your consent depending on the statutory rape laws in yout area (and depending on your age and the boy's age)

if you really think you may have been raped, while it's probably too late for a doctor to tell; by examining you, THE LEAST you should do is get youtself tested for STDs.

as for the soreness == if your hymen was torn, that would explain the soreness, however, fingering (especially the inexperienced fingering of a high school boy, I would think) could also tear your hymen, or at least stretch it (I know that before I lost my viginity, trying to get more than one finger in there was *immensely* painful -- so it's highly likely that that's all the soreness was).

anyway, that's my 2 cents, and I'm sorry you wound up with *such* an awful, stupid boy.

[lique.livejournal.com]

A few months later, no gynecologist can help you figure it out ... and though this is just my opinion, if you weren't drunk enough to be unaware of what was going on, chances are everything is just as you remember it and he's just blowing smoke (though damned if I can figure out why anyone would want to say they raped someone). Of course, anything is possible, but, if he fingered you a bit roughly that could make you a bit sore too. And, though I have heard of people having their period throughout a pregnancy, as far as I know it's just incredibly rare.

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

Actually in the first trimester its not THAT rare, and a dear friend of mine had it for FIVE MONTHS and never bothered taking a pregnancy test.

Sometimes when the egg implants itself on the wall of the uterus, you bleed. This would be about the same time you get your period.

(I bled a bit during my second one, the first couple of months.)

[lique.livejournal.com]

:) Good to know.

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

Well, if it was only his fingers and you are SURE of that, then you are still a virgin and not pregnant.

If you don't remember, there IS a chance you can be pregnant (as well as caught something nasty). The only way for sure is a test. Home tests are suprisingly accurate, its what most doctors offices use to screen anyways. (They can later on do bloodwork, and by a pelvic exam they can feel the uterus and tell.)

Now for the preachy part -- I promise, I'll be gentle! Perhaps you have a low tolerance for alcohol. I dont know. I dont want to be judgemental. But this shows that your judgement is pretty impaired when drinking. Perhaps you should abstain from drinking, especially in situations where you have minimal control of what happens? It just isn't worth it. The worry, the stress, and yes, in case the worst has happened (you caught some dreadful disease, and I cant expect pregnancy would be a prize, either), it isn't worth it.

And gawd, he sounds like a real nitwit if he is going around saying he raped you. Sheesh.

[teaser.livejournal.com]

Tell him if he's sure he raped you, could he repeat it to the police, because you're going to file a report. That'll shut him up.

[sheli.livejournal.com]

Being fingered too roughly could cause soreness. Also if he used more than one finger (like several at once to add the whole width feeling), that could cause stretching that could cause soreness too.

I'm confused by one thing. First you said you don't remember him having intercourse with you and that you were able to tell him not to go beyond a certain point. But then as a response to a comment here you said that you weren't sure if you gave him consent or not.

First off, I would try to find out EXACTLY what he's telling people. Talk to him or the people he's likely to talk to (not any further down the grape vine, cause that's likely to be really out of whack). He could be in a lot of trouble whether you gave consent or not. If you are under the influence of any narcotics, then someone having sex with you is considered rape, consent or not! How old is this guy anyways?

Second, do you remember everything that night or are there any time spans that you really can't account for. One moment you remember doing something, then you can remember anything until 10 minutes to an hour later? If you can't remember an amount of time even though you weren't drunk, then you might have been slipped a drug (a date rape drug... there are many kinds). It happens a lot at parties. Even people only drinking sodas gets slipped these drugs. Basically, the drugs make it easier for the guy to have intercourse with you without you fighting back as much or even remembering. Really think about that night.

Third, did you have any friends there? Anyone who can tell you anything that they might remember of you that night?

You gotta be careful out there. There's a lot of people who don't care about what they do to others and won't take responsibility for their actions. There's a lot of perverts. And there's a lot of people with STDs who don't care who they give those STDs to.

It's your body. You are young and what you do now can affect you for the rest of your life. Trust me, some of the consequences are just not worth it.

[marielsblue.livejournal.com]

i meant consented as in consented to making out..what i remember is, at one point, he asked how much i wanted to do, and i said "id like to stay a virgin", no memory gaps, we had walked away from the party, though, and someone did say we were gone about 3 hours which is alot longer than i remembered.
hes 16, too. we havent talked since the weekend after that, i figured it wasnt worth the effort,
fuck.
how much are home pregnancy tests? just in case?