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menstrualhutOkay, so one of my guy friends says that a lot of females become bisexual because they don't get what they need from guys. (Like attention. They're not popular with the guy.) Do you think there is any validity to this?
(I happen to be bi, and I don't think that that's always the case. Such situations might just be the catalyst, methinks.)
(I happen to be bi, and I don't think that that's always the case. Such situations might just be the catalyst, methinks.)
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no subject
Bisexuality
Date: 2001-05-22 10:18 am (UTC)When your heart skips a beat upon discovering interest in a woman, I think that is a tell tale sign.
I have a husband and yet I still want a girlfriend. My husband fulfills my needs but, there is a little piece missing.
no subject
Date: 2001-05-22 10:19 am (UTC)Sounds like this guy might also think lesbians would change their mind if they just got some good dick.
Disgusting. Like all of women's desicions, attractions, and proclivities hinge on guys. Bleck.
I for one get too much attention from guys. My experience has included leaving guys who were smothering me with attention and being needy and wanting sex all the damn time.
I've had relationships with women that were much more balanced, intimate (on many levels), and mature.
Plus women are beautiful and soft and it doesn't hurt the jaw or cause gag reflexes to go down on them.
So there. Hopefully that debunks your friend's theory.
i'm in such an odd mood
Yeah...
Date: 2001-05-22 11:23 am (UTC)He said something seemed like it was missing.
So I said, "What, you?"
He said, "Well, that's not what I was thinking specifically, but, yeah."
So, there you go. That's him. (Although I'm not surprised by such views because he is a pretty inexperienced, teenage guy. I just don't have very high expectations, but every once and a while...)
no subject
Date: 2001-05-22 10:20 am (UTC)for some people, bisexuality is a way to get attention. for others it's a way to get what they need out of people. for others yet, it's just for fun. then there are the people for which there's no other option but bisexuality. me, for example. i can't imagine restricting my choices of a partner just because of what body they inhabit. i can't imagine living in a world that's devided so sharply into have and have not.
usually if there's a woman that can't get what she wants or needs from a man, she doesn't become bisexual. she becomes a lesbian, because why still include the possibility of a man if one isn't necessary?
no subject
Date: 2001-05-22 10:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2001-05-22 11:14 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2001-05-22 11:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2001-05-22 11:25 am (UTC)That would be great. Thanks.
Re:
Date: 2001-05-22 11:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2001-05-22 01:06 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2001-05-27 09:04 pm (UTC)no subject
no subject
Date: 2001-05-22 10:58 am (UTC)...and why exactly do you say that?
no subject
Date: 2001-05-22 01:02 pm (UTC)i think you COMPLETELY misconstrued what i just said. i said that there are INSTANCES where this may be the case. i was NEVER moslested or abused, and i had wonderful relationships with both my mother and father, and i'm polysexual (which you can think of as expanded bisexuality that encompasses male, female, genderqueer, gender neutral, transgendered, and transexual). just like bisexuality doesn't mean promiscuity, neither does polysexuality. it just means i'm keeping my options open. i'm a monogamous person, but i don't feel as though a preson has to be a specific sex or gender for me to love them.
i had a very serious, sexual relationship with a man at one point. he gave me what i needed, but in the end it just didn't work out. i was with a woman in the same way for a while. she gave me what i needed, but we ended up going our seperate ways. i'm currently with a genderqueer and extrememly happy. our relationship can't be defined as either heterosexual or homosexual since genderqueer identify as neither.
it's not about negative experiances shaping our lives away from bad things, it's about positive experiances shaping out lives toward the things that make us happy. you can't go arond saying that people have ahd bad things happen to them so that's why they acta particular way. you ahve to realize that in a lot of cases, people act the way they do because of the positive things that have happened to them.
no subject
Date: 2001-05-22 01:35 pm (UTC)i've never been molested and i still like girls too.
the "falling in love with her too" thing irks me.
no subject
Date: 2001-05-22 11:07 am (UTC)Frankly, and not to be rude to your friend, that's one of the stupidest things I've ever heard. There are some people who consciously choose their orientation, because that's what they want to be, but they are very, very few. Most lesbians really only like women. Most gay men really only like men. And most bisexuals are sincerely attracted to both. That's just how it is. Personally, I get more attention from men than I do from women, and I'm still bi. I've never been abused, molested, or mistreated, and I'm bi. All of the cute little theories that people like to form about why sexual orientations work out the way they do are just that - cute little theories, that make people feel better, but don't actually explain anything. Parenting styles, abuse, environment, what have you, anything you propose, there will be hordes of people who don't fit. Because pop psychology answers just don't cut it.
Off topic
Date: 2001-05-22 11:14 am (UTC)In my opinion, your guy friends are just singing sour grapes. If you're not attracted to women, no amount of conviction would make you attracted to them. Saying "oh, she's only bi because she couldn't have ME" is an exercise in ego."
00goddess
no subject
Date: 2001-05-22 11:43 am (UTC)