Masterbation Everyone!

[abrasivereality.livejournal.com]

Alright. So, I'm this huge loser who has never had an orgasm and I want to fuckin' know what I'm missing out on. I need masterbation tips. I need advice, please. It's like, I'll masterbate, and it feels good, but it's like I lose interest or something. It's like I get bored with it, the fact that it's "not working," so to speak.

Women- How do you do it? Any special techniques? Any suggestions? Got something really different that I may not have tried? Anything people- I want it.

Comments

[peradouro.livejournal.com]

It used to take me a long time too. But once I stopped looking at it like a pushbutton project things got better. Your whole body loves sex not just your pussy. Feel yourself all over and visualize something that makes you feel hot. Run your hands through your hair, down your neck, over your breasts. Knead your feet and legs and butt. Then after you're all goose pimply slide your hands over your mound and then inside. Repeat. Pay special attention to what feels good where. When you start feeling frustrated back off a bit, go wash dishes or something and while you're standing there tense your muscles down there and think of something sexy.

Basically I guess I'm saying that you need a bit of foreplay for yourself, sexy thoughts, maybe a risque novel, bubble bath, whatever it takes to help you make love to yourself.

[abrasivereality.livejournal.com]

Thanks a lot for your advice.

[lovelesswriter.livejournal.com]

Yay masturbation one of my favorite subjects to talk about. :) This is what I do when I masturbate (it might work for you it might not):

-Prepare yourself for it by fantasies, looking at porn, reading erotica, caressing yourself or whatever that gets you excited. I've maturated with and without making myself excited and I cum quicker if I'm excited before I start. This is probably because by getting yourself excited the clitoris has had time to grow (after all it's made of the same tissue the penis is) and is ready instead of having started masturbating and having to wait for it. Getting yourself excited also allows you to get "wet" with vaginal fluid, that is a natural lubricate. I find it easier to masturbate when I'm wet because my finger slides over my clitoris smoothly and doesn't have any friction. I sometimes have to help the fluid up to my clitoris by rubbing my finger over the folds closer to the vagina.

-Masturbate someplace where you know you can be alone and not have to worry about somebody walking in on you. Well, this only applies if you don't live alone. Like me, I live with my family and my mom is one of those people that was raised to think masturbation is dirty so the last thing I want is her walking in on me. I usually masturbate in the bathroom because it's usually the only room I can go in where I know people won't be bothering me because they think I'm "doing my business" or getting ready to take a shower. Plus it's the only room with a locking door in my house. I also find it handy because once I'm done I can wipe away excess fluid and wash my hands. Long story short, if you're someplace where you know you won't be bothered you're more likely to relax and get into it more because you're not worried about somebody walking in on you.

-Be patient. Don't stop just because it doesn't seem to be working. Sometimes it takes some time to build up before the relief (aka the orgasm) comes. I know sometimes my finger gets tired and sometimes I may stop just for a second or two to let my finger rest but this is usually a couple of minutes after I've started. Though once I feel I can feel the orgasm coming I don't stop, even if my finger is tired, because I know if I stop I'll have to let it build all over again. I also say be patient because sometimes it's been like 10-15 minutes before I came and I knew I was getting frustrated that it wasn't coming but I stayed with it because I knew the orgasm would be worth it.

-When first starting start by caressing your clitoris slowly and as you feel yourself building more start to caress yourself faster and faster. For me this comes naturally because the closer and closer you come to orgasm slow just doesn't cut it. I also find movement helps like thrusting your pelvis while caressing your clitoris so it's like you're going through the motions as if you were having sex. I also find it helpful to use one finger to caress your clitoris and another to spread the lips apart giving myself better exposer to the area. Though when getting ready to orgasm I find my muscles tensing up and I can't keep myself spread a little with the finger.

-Don't keep going once you feel the orgasm. I know once I have tried to keep rubbing my clitoris once I felt the orgasm and it just doesn't work. Once I feel the orgasm I stop rubbing myself and enjoy the feeling (my orgasm starts by the muscles constricting and then it feels like my crotch is pulsating if that helps any to what it should feel like). Once done don't get up and go back to your normal activities as if nothing happened. Sit around for a couple of minutes enjoying the afterglow so to speak (which also gives your body time to clam down).

-Last but not least: enjoy!!! :) It's your body and you have every right to get pleasure from it. It might take some time but it's worth it because I find masturbation relieves stress and just makes me happy. Also don't be afraid to try masturbating in different positions: standing, sitting, lying, lying on your stomach, etc. I also sometimes find humping something more pleasurable than masturbating. I hope this helped and didn't mind hearing about my experiences (after all we're all open here).

[abrasivereality.livejournal.com]

Thanks for all that. I have erotic poetry and whatnot laying around, I should put it to use! :)

That's my weakness, being patient. Once I get that whole, "Sarah, you need to just calm down and not be so anxious" thing, I think I'll be a little bit better.

Thanks!

[lovelesswriter.livejournal.com]

Go erotic poetry!!! I have this victorian sex book I use quite a bit along with lots of victorian porn (I'm a big history buff and find it more stimulating for some reason).

Being patient is good. There have been time where I could just feel it building and nothing would happen. I'd get so anxious and I would try harder and harder and then of course it wouldn't come. I'd then be frustrated the whole day thinking if I can't get myself off how can I ever expect a guy to get me off? That's when I learned to be patient, there's no hurry, take my time and it will come and be great.

Best of luck to you and glad I could help. The wait is definatly worth it. :)

Try this...

[retrodee.livejournal.com]

selflove

Re: Try this...

[abrasivereality.livejournal.com]

Danke. I'll check that out.

Re: Try this...

[retrodee.livejournal.com]

You're welcome. 8)

[tyrsalvia.livejournal.com]

How old are you? I didn't learn how to let my body have an orgasm until I was 17, before that I would masturbate and feel good, but at a point I would plateu and it just wouldn't go any further. It is normal not to have had an orgasm at a certain point - I once saw some statistic that in the 50s when there wasn't the cultural emphasis on a woman's pleasure, more than half of the American women surveyed had never had an orgasm at all! You don't need to feel like a freak. Just, feel like someone who is taking charge and tired of being without. :}

Here's my advice:

First of all, check out this webpage: http://www.jillingforher.com/ (run by the lovely allforher. It's a site on female masturbation for and by women, aimed at helping you get there. It has advice on techniques to try, as well as erotica.

Secondly, work on your kegel exercises (check out http://www.kegel-exercises.com/ for details on how to do this). Kegel exercises work your internal muscles (originally developed to help with urinary problems, which is the aim of that site above - but the how-to information is excellent), and the stronger they are, they better orgasms you'll have. I know you're not having orgasms right now, but the stronger your kegel muscles are, the more likely you are to have orgasms, and eventually mind-blowing ones.

It's not going to start out blowing your mind. It's going to start out small and not even fully satisfying. I can attest to the fact that it gets a million times better, though.

You need to learn how to breathe correctly. That was one of the key factors in first obtaining orgasm for me. Experiment with different breathing patterns - when it starts to feel good, it might be good to deliberately slow your breathing, or it might be good (and for me, it is) to hold your breath for a few seconds. Try things out, because it's different for everyone.

Relax. This is not a goal oriented activity. Even now when I tell myself it's time for orgasm, I concentrate too hard on it and it's not good or not nearly as good as it would be if I'd slowed down and relaxed. Another poster mentioned finding a place you can be alone that you know you won't be interrupted - this is key. It's hard to get involved in anything you want to do alone when you think you might be interrupted, and if it's something where interruption would be really embarassing, it's even more difficult to get into it.

Try different techniques. Some women get off just by stroking their clitoris, but personally I need both clitoral and vaginal stimulation to come. This, again, is different for everyone, so try different things. Buy sex toys if you're old enough/can get away with it. If not, try one of those vibrating pen things (check the toy store) or an electric toothbrush with the tip wrapped in saran wrap - yes, those work very well on the clit, I got off for years with an electric toothbrush on my clit and something inside me.

Hopefully this gives you some good ideas to start out. Feel free to ask me any more questions (you can email me at tyrsalvia@livejournal.com). Good luck, and have fun!

[lovelesswriter.livejournal.com]

Dude!!! I am so getting an electric toothbrush!!! Thanks for the idea!!!

[tyrsalvia.livejournal.com]

Sure thing. Glad to be of help!

[abrasivereality.livejournal.com]

Thanks for all that advice. It's much appreciated. I'm 20, actually. And thanks for the site references. I've actually been doing kegels for a while. I found out about them when my friend's sister was pregnant and they told her to do the exercises. I don't do them often, just every once in a while when I think about it.

Last night I bought a dual-action vibrator online. We'll see how it works out. I didn't realize breathing was so important. Extra thanks on that tip.

Thanks again.

[tyrsalvia.livejournal.com]

Good luck! I had to give all that advice because, really, if I can somehow inspire orgasms from women I haven't even met... what a barrometer of success! *grins*

I think it's great that you're seeking this advice. I know a woman who is ..32? something like that who has not had an orgasm. Instead of asking for advice, she just feels bad about it and then never gets anywhere. It makes me sad, because I feel like she could fix it if she relaxed a bit and experimented rather than just got upset about it.

[moonstrucky.livejournal.com]

My shower head is my favorite thing in the whole house. Its one of those like... "if you were stranded on a desert island, what one thing would you take" kind of items. Ahhh...

[mariajuanita.livejournal.com]

I'm with you on that one. It works every time.